Some Random Thoughts

My cats seem to have an implicit agreement between them not to cuddle with the same human being at the same time. This was not always the case and I definitely remember it not being the case with our previous cats.  Elsa has become more of a cuddy cat than she used to be but still isn't a heavy snuggler like Ryder.

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You meet the same people in different forms throughout life.  In college, I met a guy named Troy on the first day of moving into the dorms.  He seemed like a good enough guy but there was something that my spidey sense said don't get too close.  In retrospect, I should have hung out with him more.  

20 years later, on my first day of orientation at a new job, I met Greg W.  We became work friends and there are definitely some similarities between Greg and Troy.  

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I have a related strange theory.  The light at the end of the tunnel we see when we die is actually us going through the birth canal and being born into a new life (or C-section or whatever form we are born unto).  

But here's the thing: we get to take a tiny portion of our knowledge, experience, wisdom, or whatever.  but really tiny.  that's why some people are naturally good at math or writing, etc. and maybe you can trade for looks and athletic skills, I don't make the rules.  it's just a theory.

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 I often wake up in the middle of the night and remember some random memory and it is so cringe.  I really was born with two strikes and played against people born on 2nd and 3rd base.  

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In case it's not obvious, I am not a fan of #elfontheshelf.  When I was a kid, if a doll moved in your house, you cut that Fucker up before it could multiply and burned it for good measure.  luckily, we only have a week left of this nonsense.

We didn't have EOS when I was growing up.  And until we had children, I only had an obtuse cursorial understanding of what it was.  It seems it started out innocently enough: you moved a doll around the house after putting your kids to bed (instead of doing anything that might lead to more kids) and each morning they would try to find it (instead of getting ready for school).  

But someone, I suspect the mommy bloggers (what we currently call influences) had to take it to the next level.  They came up with elaborate concepts and designs and you are a lesser parent if your kid doesn't have a good story to share at school.  

I didn't get the choice to opt-in or out of it.  But this year Nightingale has decided that I have to come up with some ideas.  The thing is, there are no Easy Elf On The Shelf ideas.  If you google and find an article with 25 ideas, each one just has that one thing you don't have in house to make it work.

Last Sleep in Day for a While

The kids go back to school on Thursday.  Tomorrow is Boris' OT appointment so we get up at 7 to be out the door by 7:50 for a 30-minute session that begins at 8.  And Saturday at 8:30 is Natasha's soccer practice.  

One of the problems with living in the South is the summers are just too hot to really be outside.  And almost everything we can do inside costs money.  it's not that we cannot afford it, but like a lot of things, it has its limits.  We can only do so much bowling, arcade, Urban Air, and swimming pool (that one is free) before the kids get tired of it.  

The seasons down here kinda work like this:   

• From the end of May to the middle of September it is too hot to do much outside and it doesn't really cool off in the evenings.
  
  
• From the middle of Sept to mid-November it's nice and you can get things done.  Even on the hotter days, there is a morning window and an evening window.
  
  
• mid-November to the end of February is what is considered winter here. And it might snow or you might need some warmer clothes but it's great for being outside.
  
  
• March to Mid-May is spring and it's the opposite of Fall.

Double Nickels

I turned 55 last week.  Nightingale tells me stories about her dad and it might be true that girls marry a guy who is like their father, for better or worse.  He is 79 and his body started betraying him long ago.  He

can't really do much and what he can do takes 3x longer because of his physical limitations.  and I am scared shitless this will happen to me too.

I haven't even tried to go for a run in 2 years.  There are so many paths that are now closed to me.  The best I can do is focus on the ones still open, such as being the best parent I can be.  

What should have been

 It always makes me a little sad when this image comes up in my On This Day in Facebook.  I really thought this would be my dream job.  I enjoyed going into the office, even though that was challenging with 2 two-year-olds that needed to be dropped off at daycare.

When things started going South I hoped I would make it to year 5 because that would be fully invested in the 401K match.  Not a huge deal but every bit helps.  I have been struggling to get new employment because of my age, my location, and my personality.

If I hadn't been laid off, would we still have moved down here?  Perhaps.  But maybe it would have been an anchor that would make it easier to move back.  We'll never know.  

Office Nemisis won.  

It's very hard to make friends in adulthood

A blogger friend posted something that intrigued me.  Her blog is private so I cannot simply link to it.  I'd like to screenshot or quote because I was taught to give credit where credit is due, but I also understand her desire for privacy.  

(I also have noticed that when I VagueBook and come back to read something years later, I don't remember who I was speaking about).  Therefore I will link on the off chance she ever reverts her blog back to public.  [Ironically, when I started blogging, she told me that most people don't care about your little corner of the internet.]

So Alex wrote that she tried to make friends by joining a book club but it was unsuccessful for various reasons.  In no particular order, it wasn't the drink wine and forget about the book after 5 minutes type of B-club; She missed a few meetings because of work; She doesn't like Fiction and the members already have their Friends Slots filled and only want to discuss the book.

As someone who has both organized and participated in Adult Playground Activities, I can relate.  Sometimes no matter how friendly, engaging, and/or open you are, people just aren't receptive.  They have their TopFive Friends and don't have any slots left for anyone new.

Other times it's some minor criteria like you just weren't attractive enough.  Or you didn't show up consistently.  people don't want to invest in someone who isn't gonna show up next meeting.  

Sometimes the problem is more nuanced.  If you don't have that friend to tell you that you have no sense of humor or a stick up your butt, you're not gonna figure it out on your own.  Of course some friends don't see that side of you.  Or some friends do but they are friends for other reasons and that side isn't a liability.  Finally, people take the path of least resistance and it's easier just reducing your time with someone then telling them, "Why yes, you do have a stick up your butt".

I've been told on more than one occasion that I'm so negative. My defensive self wants to argue that I'm just realistic and pragmatic, but that is self-defeating.  The truth is I'm negative but not always negative.  But once you get a reputation for being negative, people look at everything in a negative lens.

A friend posted something about a neighbor giving her a free meal.  I joked that now she has to listen to her speech about essential oils.  Is this negative?  everyone makes Essential oil jokes.  But said friend was working off years of other darker comments.  If we are being fair said friend is also a bag of crazy kittens herself.

It got me thinking about the P10s and other running groups I've been part of.  it didn't occur to Nirodivergent me at the time but there was definitely a hierarchy/caste system.   When certain people had parties, members would skip their parent's funeral to join.  But when I had one, I'd get some very ungracious responses.

Welcome 2024

 Happy New Year all.

Whereas 2023 started off on a bad foot and only improved recently, 2024 is looking cautiously optimistic.  I have a job that seems like it has the potential to open doors that have been shut and I can pivot to a new skillset.

It is only a matter of time before I run into No-Name Software industry colleagues who don't think highly of me or have had bad experiences.

At the start of last year, I strived to do 10 posts per month.  Obviously, that fell out of fashion because when you don't have anything to write about, there's not much to post.  

Two life hacks that I've recently come up with.

I found a place that will wash, dry, and fold our laundry for $1.75 per pound.  And for a little bit more per pound, they will even pick up and deliver.

Earlier in the year, the kids switched from wanting baths to taking showers.  This is a game changer because bathing the kids was not something I liked doing or was good at.  NG had the job but she would do it only at the end of the night before bedtime.  

Life in a Southern Town

 Every Wednesday I have to take Boris to his OT at 8 am.  It's only a half hour so I wait in the parking lot and then drive him to school.  At first, I used to stress about getting him there as soon as possible because he was technically tardy and missing some class time even though he had a note.

However, as the days and weeks passed in this Mid-South town, I realized: it didn't really matter.  He's in 2nd grade, it's not like he is missing out on anything crucial.  I still get him there quickly, but I don't stress if I miss a light or if the Therapist talks too long while giving me the summary report.

My FIL sometimes complains about traffic down here.  I know it's mostly an "I'm an old guy, that's what we talk about" thing.  But on some level, he really feels like there is traffic here.

The worst traffic here is nothing compared to the "best" traffic in Chicago.  

The annoying thing is how most people who are turning left don't pull out into the perpendicular street.  It's annoying because as it is when the light or arrow turns green, the first person is typically slow out of the gate.  If you are more than 5 cars back, you're chances of making that light are slim to none.  

Also, honking your horn at a car for a vehicular misdemeanor is frowned upon here.  And given the recent landscape, you don't want to find out the person has a short temper and is armed.  So it goes.

Back to That Journaling Thing

If I have any readers, steady or otherwise, you may have noticed I've hammered out some posts with more frequency than I have than I have in recent years.  

This is in part due to my having more time on my hands while unemployed.  But it's also because I occasionally go back and read posts from years back and love discovering something I had forgotten.  

Whether it was during our kid-free days or just when the little dbags arrived, it's cool to read about something my feeble mind has long forgotten.  

I want to get back to that archiving and journaling. 

What I'm not sure of is if I want to keep it here or move to a better platform.  Blogger got rid of the email subscription and the WYSIWYG editor leaves a lot to be desired.  They (Google I suppose) made some changes a few years ago but I didn't pay much mind to it since I had ChicagoNow to feed my need to be read publically.  

I don't know when it began, but I find that when I stream something, especially on my iPad, I can only watch in small chunks of time.  I don't know if it's advanced ADHD or what.  When Nightingale and I watch something on tv, I'm able to watch it straight through, but when it's just me on my iPad, which is my preferred method, I find myself pausing every few minutes to go do something else.

This is also kinda how I go about my ToDo List.  When I have a lot of items on it, I knock things out.  When I only have a few items, I tend to get complacent.  

2022 is half over

Depending on how you look at it, 2022 is half over, or 50% complete.  So on that note, let's talk about my Steps stats.

I was doing really well at first.  Between NG and I going for walks and my being able to eck out a 1-mile run, I was able to hit the 10K steps usually before dinner time.  Then one day, I did something during a run and my knee had inflammation.  It didn't go away with rest, so I iced and ibuprofen and it eventually subsided but didn't completely disappear.

Since we are on cheap insurance, we tried to wait it out, but finally, I went to a doctor to evaluate.  She gave me a steroid shot and all has been great since then.  Unfortunately, based on our experience with knee injuries, we suspect that there are underlying issues.  Perhaps another lacerated meniscus.  

So I have to do Physical Therapy for a few weeks and if things don't get better, I can get an MRI.  Not sure if our insurance will cover any of it because no one can ever tell you what something will cost.  And half of America is scared of Universal Healthcare because, socialism.

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Organizing, cleaning, and cleansing

After a few false starts, I finally got the attached garage clean enough to install the overhead hanging racks I purchased back in December.  I tried to install them myself but found quickly that it is a two-person job and it is best if the other person is someone who is very good at installing things in a straight line.  Even so, my handyman, Mark made a goof or two (quickly resolved) that vindicated me that this isn't the easiest thing to do.

The thing about these racks is you can either put a lot of light stuff or a few heavy items on them. Each rack can hold 500 lbs.  Optimally, you want to put things you don't need to get to very often, like the Christmas tree.  I could put a couple more things on these shelves, but for the most part, that's about all I can do for now.  There are some plastic crates that need to go away, some stuff for goodwill, and a Farm Table that no one in the family needs but we are not allowed to get rid of for sentimental reasons.  


Update from the future:  I managed to find the invoice for this purchase I thought I would put it here for posterity.  

Product	Quantity	Price
4' x 6' Overhead Garage Storage Rack - Hammertone, 24"-45"	2	$359.98
Subtotal:		$359.98
Discount:		-$36.00
Shipping:		Free shipping
Payment method:		Credit Card
Total:		$323.98

I've been working on clearing a lot of the clutter as well.  I have this box called Memory Vault.  it contains a crapload of stuff from my early Emo years.  I wish I had the good sense to just chuck it but I have to look through it first.  I've already thrown out my Jr High memorabilia.  that wasn't a good time for me and most of the people I knew then had no redeeming values.  I also chucked most of my Alpha Phi Omega service fraternity stuff.

Now I'm in the process of scanning a lot of documents that I haven't looked at in years so they can live, unread, in electronic format.

Take this photo.  I'm connected to about 20 of these people on Facebook (not including the ones I deliberately defriended over politics) but only interact with 3-4 per year.  I didn't do a stellar job of staying in touch in the pre-internet days, but keeping in touch is a two-way street and they certainly didn't do much either.  And that's okay.  Not every friendship or relationship is meant to last an eternity.  I just wish I had realized that sooner.  

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Need a Do Over

 Been up less than 30 minutes and I already need a do-over.  First, I forgot to hit the “ready to brew” button on the Alexa-compatible coffee maker.  The RTB button is to make sure Alexa doesn’t turn on a pot with no water or coffee grounds.  I got one because on weekends we never know how long the kids will let us sleep (spoiler alert it isn’t long) so no point in scheduling coffee.  But this morning I had to walk into the kitchen and turn it on manually, like a caveman.

 Then I’m trying to quietly open a can of cat food and end up flinging it across the kitchen, spreading cat food on the counters, dishwasher and perhaps one Feline. 

 The good news is that the Bears are on national TV tonight so I get to watch that game.  The bad news is Bears are on national TV tonight and I get to watch them lose. 

Also woke up to learn Anne Rice died.  

Not the best weather this summer

The weather this summer was, to use the technical term, sucky.  For every decent, comfortable day we had two days of either rain or hot and sometimes both.  There weren't as many sit on the front/back porch and enjoy my coffee moments like last year.  On top of that, it wasn't always possible to let the kids spend time in the backyard burning off energy.

With the weather so sucky, It was hard to get anything done around the house.  As I've said before to get things done around here, I need the intersection of appropriate weather, daylight, energy and my kids NOT being here.  I was often in short supply of three-fourths of those items.

Though I consider it done, I still have to touch up the porch somewhat.  I want to install the quarter rounds and I really should paint those lattices.

This summer I sold a few things using Letgo and Facebook Marketplace.  Yesterday I even bought something.  Nightingale wasn't sure when I showed it to her but she declared it a good buy once she sat in it.  The kids also like it, especially Natasha because she can get all cozy in it.

When I only WFH on Fridays, if I didn't get some project done, I had to wait a week.  Since moving to 100% WFH, if I don't get to it on Monday, I can try again on Tuesday.  or Wednesday.  etc.

Tomorrow I have to go into the office for the first time in a month and the second time since Memorial Day.  Our director is in for something and he wants to meet me in person.  I'm not sure what to expect.

I have to admit, this week and two weeks ago have been my best weeks at Big Audit Firm.  It's no coincidence it is because my colleague is out on PTO.


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One reason I don't like to travel

Since meeting Nightingale, I've logged more trips to Michigan than Missouri in a shorter amount of time.  Actually I'm not sure about that statement but too lazy to fact check.  It's probably about even.

Anyway, the hardest part about the drive is getting in and out of Chicago Metro traffic.  It doesn't seem to matter what time we leave here or Grosse Point, there is always traffic and it's ugly cousin Construction to impede up. 

Take our return on Tuesday. 

With our GPS app telling us we had 43 miles and 1 hour 9 minutes to go. 

Eight minutes later we have 33 miles to go.  Then with only 15 miles to go, it is still estimating another 43 minutes!  even with only 10 miles to go, it will take us 38 minutes to get home.

The closer we get, the slower we move because of traffic.  Oh and guess what!  There was a car accident that closed 3 local lanes to punish us for not taking the express lanes both chances we had. 


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About that Great American Novel

"The book I have had in my mind since 20 is still there instead of on pages. I tell myself I'll write everyday but then one day turns to two then three and I'm still here not working on it. Why? Because I'm afraid of not being perfect. Of disappointing myself."Mahjabeen Syed

At ChicagoNow the bloggers fall into three large buckets.  There are the main, vocal, interactive group that I'm friends with on FB who support one another.  There are the ones who blog for a short time then fade away because bloggin is hard.  finally there is the group of people who post semi-regularly but go about life without interaction with the rest of us.  Sure, they'll reply to a comment, but they don't join our reindeer games or read our blogs etc.  And that's fine.

I decided to scan all the hard copies of my draft stories from the 90s that I never finished.  if nothing else it will get rid of the paper trail.  I figure I can always print it again and hopefully saving it to The Cloud will be just as good as putting it in a binder on a shelf and ignoring it for another two decades.

I have to say this.  It is hard to re-read all these story drafts because....they suck.   I'm not being modest or fishing for encouragement or reinforcements.  The writing is sophomoric at best, pedantic at worse.  I was trying very hard to sound like other authors and weave a story with too many genres and influences. 

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An Actual Mystery

I’ve been reading books of old
The legends and the myths
Achilles and his gold
Hercules and his gifts
Spider-Man’s control
And Batman with his fists
And clearly I don’t see myself upon that list

Today I scanned a few letters I received in the spring of 1990.  I feel like a spy at the office sneaking over to the copier to do the scanning, hoping no one comes along while I fight with the sometimes hard-to-feed letters.

It is interesting some of the things I've discovered while scanning these letters.  Pencil doesn't scan very well.  Also, some people thought it was cute to write "Me" as the From or only their first name or nickname.  30+ years later I cannot always recall who Aslan was, although I don't believe anyone intended these letters would be re-read 30 years later.  Also, some people folded their letters in such ways that it makes it hard to feed them through the copier.  Some people used both sides of the paper, some only one.  Some left all the back pages blank except one.

Some people would write on a page in the class notebook and then tear it out and send it to me.  I've had to cut those edges off so the feeder doesn't get jammed.

The one thing about many of these letters is that they respond to a previous letter, but unlike email, there isn't much history to go on.  A vague reference or one-line sentence is sometimes all I get.  OF course, at the time it was probably crystal clear what we were talking about, but 25 years later?  No chance.

"you sounded like you wanted to tell me something when we talked." 

I probably did, but if I was hesitant to open up before, you cutting me off because you had to go absolutely guaranteed I'd never speak of it again.


The one thing I have to remember is that I'm looking at these now with more Life Experiences, Wisdom and yes even Maturity under my belt than I possessed back then.  I need to remember not to be so hard on myself for missing subtle hints and hidden clues like Aslan inviting me to come to St Louis to see a concert.  That probably wasn't about using her spare ticket, it was a casual safe way of asking me out. 

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Memory replay

It's not what's happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it's your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you're going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.  – Anthony Robbins

I have been reliving memories from the past, not to dwell in the past, but to learn from it.  To try and figure out what was my fault, what was gonna happen anyway and how to let it go.

While I always replay events from my past on my High Definition Pensieve, I'm sure a lot of this has been  caused by scanning and re-reading all those letters.  In order to save time and sanity, I may have to just scan and not read them. 

 In other news, I'm slowly chipping away at the 300 miles I want to run this year.  I ran 4 at lunch on Tuesday, bringing my total up to 254 for the year.  I know I could just not run if I really feel like it.  There were many years where I was running until December 31 trying to make some arbitrary goal but since my running ability is diminished, I feel like I need to keep fighting. 

not sure if i mentioned so I'll write about it here.  With our kids we had three battles to win. 

pacifiers (pacis)
sleeping in their own beds
potty training.


I knew we were not going to win all three at once.  for about six months before their recent birthday, we switched them to pacis only at naptime and bedtime.  the week before their birthday we went paci free and they pretty much accepted this without much of a fight.

On the potty training, Natasha is essentially there.  For those not in the know, PT has two components: the act and the cleanup.  It's gonna be a while before Natasha masters the cleanup but as long as she is going in the potty, we are happy.

Boris can do it but refuses except to stall bedtime or to get attention.  Everytime we buy a new box of pull-ups or diaper genie refills we wonder if this will be the last.

On the sleeping in their own bed, we lost some ground.  This is probably my fault for letting them sleep with me while NIghtingale's parents were in town using our bed and she was at a conference.



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Public Transit Woes

I've taken public transportation in Chicago more or less my whole life.  Whenever I see someone commit an infraction against their fellow rider, I have to wonder:  Are they really that clueless or do they just not care?  How can you ride the escalator and not notice that people stand to the right and walk on the left?


Okay it seems some people were raised by wolves, or didn't get the necessary socialization in kindergarten.  Maybe they weren't taught common sense or their brain chemicals fire off differently. 


Escalators:  you can walk up or down them.  if you MUST stand, please move to one side so others can get by. And if it isn't obvious, stand to the same side as the other lazy morons. 

Elevators:  let the people off before you get on.  Seriously, these are nothing more than boxes that travel up dozens of floors supported by a metal cable that, while strong, can have a bad day too.  The\ less weight the better. 

In fact, if you are taking the elevator to go 2 floors or less, chances are good you could use to lose some weight yourself.  please find the stairs.

Catching an Elevator:  Unless you are in one of those old buildings with a single elevator, if the door is four inches away from closing, let it go.  I gurantee it will come back or there will be another one.  Sticking your hand in the door only 1) makes me late, 2) sets off that annoying warning noise and 3) risks you getting the nickname lefty.  Why would you trust your fingers to a $3 sensor?

Once I was coming home from G-school relatively late at night and I missed the connecting Montrose Bus because some lardass got in front of me on the stairwell.  It was a deliberate move and probably the fastest he went all day.  He proceed to walk slowly down the stairs and there was no way to go around him.  There was no bus tracker at the time but it was likely to be another 30 minutes for the next bus and I ended up walking home.

I realize it's not the biggest crime against humanity but it is irritating to miss your bus or train because someone couldn't or wouldn't move fast enough or get out of your way.

When I use to get on the Irving Park blue line, there is a long narrow escalator.  I get upset by people who stop walking up the escalator when they know *they* will make the last car of the train but not consider the people behind them (or that we would like to have enough time to get to a middle car for a better chance at a seat).

My wife pointed out that i could take the stairs.  BUT my dear the escalator would be faster if Ms-only-thinks-of-herself weren't impeding me.  I want to maximize my chances of The ultimate case of entitlement I ever encountered was someone who stepped off the bus and the stopped while she put her suitcase on the ground pulled the level so she could roll it.  BECAUSE moving 2 steps to the right or left would have been too fucking courteous and considerate!


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Hanging out in The South

We were visiting the in-laws in Tennessee last week.   First half of the trip was in Franklin, which is like the Western Springs of Nashville.  

We went to the Adventure Science Center, which we got into free because of our reciprocal membership in the MSI back home.  We also went to a Bouncy House place.  Both of these were great options for burning kiddo energy since it is unseasonably cold right now.

The second half of the trip was spent in Olive Branch, Mississippi where Nightingale's youngest sister and her husband Jethro live.  Wasn't sure the second half of the trip would happen because SIL had a miscarriage the week before.  [Note, I'm putting that here for posterity, not for exposition.]  Eventually it was decided that we would spend an extra day in Franklin and then proceed to Mississippi.

All in all it was a good trip.  

We are strongly considering moving to this part of the country, despite it's Red State designation and isolation aspects.  The pros would be getting a big, family friendly suburban house with adequate space, cushy features, and better school system.  The cons would be living in a Red State and being isolated from our current friends.

However, we currently aren't seeing very many of our friends on a regular basis anyway.    And are paying a lot to live in the city.

Our cost of living would be greatly reduced but we would only have our family for social interactions, at least initially.  It's hard to make new friends especially at our age in life and our political orientation.

Time to stop letting former colleague live Rent-Free in my head

About a year ago I started a new job.  It's probably about as close to my dream job as I'm gonna get in this lifetime.  I have a lot of autonomy, am paid well and enjoy good benefits.  It's still work and there are the usual Corporate America frustrations that come with most white collar office jobs. 

That said, there was one conflict I had to deal with.  An overzealous coworker who was also assigned to be my mentor and unofficial supervisor.

I'm gonna call him Nearly Headless Nick like the ghost from the Harry Potter series.  He wasn't a bad guy and we got along well enough except in the power struggle area.  My real boss has a lot on his plate and asked Nearly Headless to manage me.  He took this task to heart and really tried to over-manage me.

I don't want this to be a gripe about a coworker but I want to point out one form of psychological warfare he played on me.   My team is on the East Coast and I work in our Chicago office.   So we do the majority of our interaction electronically.  Email, Instant Messenger and phone. 

Over a two week period of time, I would come into the office, sit at my desk from 8am (okay 8ish) and not get up until 1, 2 or 3 in the afternoon to take lunch.  No matter when I took lunch (full disclosure I eat lunch at my desk but then go to the gym next door to get some semblance of a workout in), I would come back to an IM and email asking me for something. 

I don't know what the odds are of this happening but it has to be an incredible coincidence that he didn't need anything from me until I left my desk! 

The coworker is long gone.  But he is still living rent-free in my head.  I get stressed out in the morning when I'm trying to get my kids to daycare and get to work on time.  I stress when I go to work out and the elevator takes a little longer, or God forbid I spent a little too much time in the post-workout sauna. To be clear, I'm not spending hours at the gym, I either run 3 miles or swim 10 laps, that's about all I can manage in an hour when you factor in clothes changing and showering.  Even with the gym right next door, it takes the better part of 10 minutes to get from my desk to the locker room.

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Today's thoughts

One of the things I'm working on this year is reducing my FB friends list.  I'm shooting for getting it below 500.  At the moment I'm removing people who hardly ever log in, or I've had zero or next to zero interaction with in the 8+ years I've been on FB.  I'm sure FB is part of the problem because it doesn't let everyone see everyone's stuff.

I'm struggling mostly with what i call my Loyalty Friends.  These are people who I use to interact with in some way back in the day but don't anymore.  They haven't done anything to me and haven't unfriended me so it seems jerkish to do the same to them. 

I have at least 5 dead friends on Facebook.  Obviously they don't appear in my feed but I wonder if they do influence the algorithm?  I notice that whenever I unfriend a few people, within a day or two I start seeing friends in my feed that I haven't seen in years.  Conversely, I get comments from friends who usually don't comment so I suspect they are suddenly seeing me in their feed where I was missing before. 

Thus instead of unfriending a hundred people at once, I'm going at it slower just to see who shows up. 


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