Monday, June 19, 2017

Happy belated Father's Day 2017 version

For the majority of my life, Father's Day has had no significant meaning, other than most of my friends had a good excuse not to hang out with me when I was being a whiny, needy bitch. 

So after four decades of never really giving a Flying Fuck about Father's Day, I am now legitimately part of the Dad's Club, I am still more concerned with how  to raise  socially-conscious children with beautiful manners and high self-esteem while Keeping Up with the Kardashians is still out there.  Or at the very least, be the kind of father my kids don't eventually grow up to hate.

So it's a little weird to get all the Happy Father's Day mentions on Facebook and in other forms. 




Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there, biological, step, adopted, cool uncle, or anyone else playing the Dad role. Hope you all have a great day!

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

This is what prompted it

here is the original post


And the comment thread that ended a superficial friendship  


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It isn't always hugs and puppys


Sigh.  Over the weekend I received the following FB-mail from a former friend. 


Hi Icarus. I just wanted to let you know that I have unfriended you and I think it's only fair to let you know why as we have met face-to-face and are part of the same blogging group.

The bottom line is after your comment on my most recent thread, I no longer fully trust you. I was willing to even take a humorous hit directed at me on my own post about being a hack or a troll. But then when you let me know that you weren't joking and I specifically asked why, you did not respect me enough to respond. Nor did you in anyway stick up for me when fellow CN blogger said that I was not a good person on a comment thread that you started. I would never unfriend someone because they disagreed with me, but I feel that I offer others more respect than what you gave to me. And I have come to love myself too much not to have strong boundaries.

I just wanted to let you know as that is what I would want had the tables been reversed. I am glad that our paths crossed for a bit. And I offer a blessing to your and your lovely family.

Love,
AB

So much to unpack here, but let's try.  It's already understood that is a final message, not a request for clarification or attempt to preserve our precious friendship. A healthier more confident well adjusted person would reach out first for clarification and then unfriend if they didn't like what they heard

I don't know what my comment has to do with trust and respect per se.  I asked a relevant question that lots of people would ask based on her post: was her account hacked or was she trolling everyone.  She never really clairified and I got too busy to follow up.Because if it isn't clear that your FB post is not the most important thing in anyone's life right now, I don't know what to tell you.

When you take the time to write an essay like this to someone, instead simply just silently unfriending it is always about YOU.  You know deep in the darkest reaches of your soul you are the one in the wrong here and you are trying to assuage your guilt by writing this treatises of justification.

I'm not sore about the unfriending, truth be told I was thinking about clearing her from my feed as well since we don't interact (I know that is mostly because of the insane FB algorithms).  But what I really hate about this is she gets to dump her last words behind the scenes at me so she can feel better without the world knowing what a phony New Age SJW she really is.  This Facebook Friend not only unfriended me because I didn't respond to her 128 comment thread, but she took the time to unlike my Facebook Writing page too. 


I'm sorry our fellow CN blogger sibling attacked her.  Jenna is a fantastic writer and has a way with words. However, with respect to their interactions with other, she often go through life Cos playing as a tantrum-throwing child.  Especially if they aren't 100% in lock-step agreement with her.


But that isn't on me.  She cannot hurt her the way Jenna hurt her.  So she is using the unfriending and final say note as a way to try and hurt me.

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Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Quick Kiddo Update

So for some time now Natasha has been using the potty and is out of diapers.  I should have recorded it sooner but it has been a couple of months now.  She has most of the mechanics down and only wets herself in situations where she gets excited and forgets to tell us she needs to go.

Boris uses the potty at school but rarely at home.  Still we have seen a significant savings in diapers and diaper genie refills.  If we can get Boris on board we might be able to divert that money back to our retirement funds, or at least have a nice dinner out some evening. 

On the other hand, they have stopped sleeping in their room altogether and sleep either with us or in the guest bedroom, usually one in each.  So much so that we  are seriously converting the nursery back into my office.

We use to put the kids to bed and then come back downstairs to decompress, possibly watch a show and/or get ready for the morning.  Now we have had to go to bed with them.  

Friday, June 2, 2017

Post Memorial Day Wrap up

We had a busy Memorial Day weekend.  First my mom left our house Friday at some point and didn't return until Monday so that was an extra bonus.  I know that sounds mean reader from the future but the is a distinct difference in the overall mood when my mom is not around.



Katness and family came over late Saturday evening and we grilled hamburgers.  On Sunday we went to a friends annual MD cookout.  On Monday Nightingale got the idea, based on our On This Day FB reminder, to go out to breakfast at our local diner and then take the bus to the beach.  It was a close to spontaneous as a couple with two 2-yr olds can be (you still have to pack a ton of stuff). 

It definitely wore the kids out.  They napped so well Monday afternoon that it was hard to wake them up. 


A lot of companies in Corporate America have figured out that people get even lazier during the summer so they come up with summer hours.  My current place (have I come up with a name for it yet) uses the leave two hours early on Friday thing.  We are supposed to make those hours up during the week but either you are busy enough or you aren't. 

Last year Headless Nick never brought up this perk.  I did ask him about it once and he was very nonchalant, saying that people do it if they are caught up.  The thing is, he liked to work.  He would come in at 9 and stay until 6 which equals my 5 pm.  During Kickoff Friday, he would stay until his 4, which was my 3.  So skipping lunch to leave early wasn't an option.  He just couldn't understand why someone wouldn't want to take advantage of the distraction free time to get some real work done.

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Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Relaxing weekend, anxiety laden week approaching

Our weekend was rather chill in spite of the obligatory trip to the remote ends of Chicagoland for a family birthday party.  The reason was because my mom went home Friday morning and stayed there all weekend.  When she is around, she is an extra set of hands to help with the kids.  but it comes at a price. When shes' not around, its more physical work for us, but the atmosphere is more relaxed.

Saturday AM, Nightingale went to Costco while I kept the kids...alive.  She got home, we had a late lunch and then headed out for the birthday party.  My cousin Wednesday has two kids, 2.5 years apart, the youngest being just a few months older than Moose and Squirrel.  Wednesday is going through the birthday learning curve between having combined Bday parties, one for each, and also learning that not everyone wants to give up their Memorial Day weekend to go to a kids party. 

I've always said that the best time to throw a kids party is when it's a good time for you.  Kids don't learn how calendars work until much later in life so take advantage of it as long as you can.  As long as you give them cake, ice cream and presents they really don't care if you do it 2 weeks after their real birthday.

The party was nice but we overstayed.  the plan was to leave during the 5 o clock hour and we stayed until almost 7.  The meant that we were due for a meltdown on the way home because the kids were getting hangry.  Luckily we got to the McDonald's on the highway Oasis before full meltdown occurred. 

Sunday was nice weather in the am but cooler and rainy in the pm so the kids couldn't go outside and burn energy. 

there are two projects I want to get to ASAP but I won't be able to touch them until this weekend.    This week is a conference for my job which involves seeing a lot of the people from the No-Name Software Company.  I' m a little anxious about that. 

There was one thing that occurred over the weekend, which I will write about in detail later.  In the past, things like this usually leave me with an ominous pit in my stomach.  To be sure, there was a bit of a dark cloud hoovering around.  But I also have enough confidence in myself to know that this is not of my doing and I don't deserve the bullshit this person is sending my way. 

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Saturday, May 20, 2017

Replacing ugly window treatment, one room at a time

I was never in love with the window treatments that came with this house.  Most of it was of the "eh, it will do" variety, with occasionally patches of WTF were you thinking?   I've since replaced the ugly pink blinds in our bedroom with cordless blinds that do a decent job of keeping the light out.
Luckily our bedroom windows face East so there isn't much light to worry about on the occasions that we get to sleep in.

In the kids room, which they have not slept in for over a month now, the blinds that are over the changing table got broke somehow.  I imagine it was a combination of them being cheap, and years of my kids grabbing at them while being changed.  Anywho, I had to replace the one and because you have to have matching treatment on all windows, I had to also buy a replacement for the perfectly functional one on the other window. 

Unfortunately, the woodwork in this house, specifically upstairs is very hard (insert your own joke here).  You have to predrill with a bit much larger than you would think and you can still risk stripping a screw or breaking a drill bit. 

My fantasy was to simply hire some store to replace and install all the window treatment at once.  But since we likely aren't staying here forever, that will change to only replace what is necessary.  I suspect I will do the heavy blinds in the kitchen but otherwise all the curtains should be sufficient and there will be no love lost when we leave them behind.




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