I still love them

I have been late to work every day this week.  In fact, most days I'm between 10 and 30 minutes late.  All because of my douche nugget kids.  They won't go to bed on time so they are tired and don't want to wake up in the morning.  Even when one of them is more or less cooperative, the other one decides to put up a fight.  And we are already tired and sleep exhausted from 3 years of sleep deprivation.

It's no one's fault. It's no one's fault. It's no one's fault.  But it is what is going on right now.   Daycare is only half a mile from the house, it's a 5 minute drive and a 10 minute ordeal to get them inside, use the potty, go through the usually good bye ritual.  Unless Natasha is feeling clingy.  Then we are there for an extra few minutes that I know I'll want back when she's a teenager who cannot stand to be around me but at the moment  I need to catch a train. 

I get so angry.  Not at my kids taking too long to get ready in the morning.  I mean I get angry about that too.  But I'm already angry from 673 other things that I hold in so that a trivial thing just breaks the camel's back. I'd love to burn off some steam by going for a run but hey, my WFH mornings get shot to hell because I spend so my time struggling with them and then taking them to daycare.   I like to run before work so that I get it out of the way and I can use my "lunch hour" to run much needed errands.

Then there is my mom.  She is always here, especially on my WFH day.  She will eventually leave for a few hours or the weekend, but by the time she does, my morning, when I am most creative and productive is over.  It's not that I cannot do things while she is here, it's just that she puts her nose in my business and is in the way.  And somehow it seems more efficient to waste time reading the internet in the morning and using the afternoon daylight to get stuff done around the house. 

On that note, I need to remember next year that this time is too late to be putting garden and yard things away for the winter.  Do it a week or two earlier and if the weather is unseasonable warm afterwards, so be it.

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Why am I doing this again?

One thing I’m working on, I have this box of snail mail letters received while in college and early adult years when people still wrote real letters. Initially I was going to re-read them, keep a few and pitch the rest. However, many of them have memory nuggets and other tidbits that despite my jaded and cynical self, I cannot bring myself to do so. Sentimental old fool that I am.

I started scanning them and then I got the idea to send the originals back to some of the people whom I’m still in touch with if they are interested (sadly I did pitch a few letters before making this offer). The project will take some time, probably longer than it took to write and read those letters in the first place.  It doesn't help that I pitched a few of the letters after scanning them, only to find that they went to google drive as zero byte files.  I'll go through the trouble of re-scanning the ones I still have, but considering I could just as easily pitched the whole pile I'm not too broken up about it.


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2017 Running Goals update

So far this year, I have run 230 miles.  I'm not certain but I feel as if I am ahead of the pace for this time last year.

I need 70 more miles or 23 more 3 mile runs, which is about all I ever have time and energy for these days.  When I'm consistent I can squeeze out a 4 mile run but time still factors in.  I'm not gonna do 17 4 mile runs but if i mix a few in I can be done with my 300 mile goal by early December.

I would still run when possible but i wouldn't be trying to reach a goal by Dec 31 like I do most years.

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You cannot go back

so a couple of things are going on that I want to write down for historical value.  In no particular order....


So my high school reunion is this Saturday. I'm not going.  But its interesting that someone reached out to me yesterday via Facebook Messenger to find out if I was.  Interesting because the last time I had any interaction with this person was after our reunion in 2007. 

K was my high school biology lab partner and we use to have the deep discussions and talks that freshmen have.  And then I hardly ever saw her again because, high school.  When we reconnected in 2007 we hung out a little bit but again drifted apart.  I don't know if she thought I was interested and I was just looking for friendship but we didn't stay in touch.  I do recall sending an email or two that went completely unanswered (she's a texter) and even a FB messege, also unanswered.

So the old me would have looked at it as an opportunity to reconnect and be been oh hey let's get together.  The new and improved cynical me is like "nope".  I was cordial and friendly but not overly inviting.  She obviously knows how to get in touch with me when she needs/wants some information but didn't feel the need to stay in touch or return my messages over the years so bye bye Felicia.

Next up, I'm scanning and re-reading some old letters that I received from friends back in the 90s when people wrote snail mail.  It's bringing back a lot of forgotten memories and all the feels, as the kids say.  A lot of these friendships once meant the world to me and now I'm lucky if we acknowledge each other's life achievements on Facebook. 

 Furthermore, it is turning out to be a tough task scanning these letters.  For one thing, I must have a thousand of them.  Some of them are folded in such a way that the industrial scanner sometimes misses a line at the bottom and I just don't have the patience to try and scan them manually.  So I might end up missing a transition sentence here and there.  But honestly, if I haven't read them in 20 years, does it really matter?

Finally, the inlaws have been in town all week and Nightingale had to go to a conference that started today. She left Tuesday because her coworkers talked her into going early to do the touristy thing.