Thursday, April 11, 2024

Never Stood a Chance

 There can be no mistaking it: I'm closer to the Neurodivergent (ND) end than the Neurotypical (NT) end of the spectrum.

That said, I could "navigate a standard educational system...learn skills like speaking, reading, and writing at the prescribed times during childhood. and kept up with my classmates, and graduated alongside them."

Nightingale cited a study or source, which I don't have right now, that said a Rule of Thumb is a Neurodivergent person is on average 75% behind the emotional development of a Neurotypical person of the same age.  And that is the average.  some are better but that means some are even lower!

I did some calculations using 75% of my age at given points and here is what I got:

Two things to note:  when you are really young, the difference isn't as noticeable.  That's why a 3-year-old NT and a 4-year-old ND can play together quite fine.  I mean they will have issues for other reasons.  

While it likely never goes completely away, at some point you do, hopefully, grow enough that it again not as noticeable.  Now that I'm in my 50s I like to think I'm fit to handle sitting with the adults.  

I cannot believe I managed to survive in a world this cruel.  It certainly explains why I failed at times and had trouble interacting with people.  

Often when I wake up in the middle of the night, I think about some past interactions that went South.  I was hopelessly, hilariously outgunned, and often times the other persons knew it.  They might not have known terms like Neurodivergent, but they knew I was not quite right and sometimes took advantage of it.

For instance, there is no way Mel didn't know that I would do anything for her and she took advantage when we were roommates in 1999.  

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