Marathon Training and Wedding Planning

I am not spending my summer training for a marathon. It's not the first time I've taken a summer off, but this is certainly a rarity for me. Instead I'm using the time to pursue some long shelved hobbies, oh and plan a wedding.

At first glance, weddings and marathons have little to do with each other. One is a 26.2 mile race and the other is a celebration that launches (hopefully) a lifetime together. You can train for and run many marathons over the course of a lifetime but you probably only want one wedding (unless you are Liz Taylor or Hugh Heffner).  But they do have some things in common. They both take a lot of time and preparation and they both can set you up for big expectations.

Marathon training is typically 18 weeks of following a running schedule and tacking on miles. In theory you eat right and make other sacrifices that conflict with summertime fun and an active social life. You buy a couple pairs of expensive running shoes and eat a lot of pasta. 

Weddings take an average of 1 year to plan. You usually have to book your venue this far in advance because everyone else has booked their wedding.  You hire a photographer, buy/rent expense clothing and eat a lot of pasta (Italian weddings only!).

Yes you can plan a wedding in a short amount of time or elope, and sure you could simply sign up for a marathon, do no training and show up on race day in your running shorts. Both of these options will give you a different experience than the traditional route.

When you've run as many marathons as I have, you expect a certain outcome. Yeah, it's an accomplishment just to finish, and that gets you through the first couple of marathons. But by the time you've racked up a dozen marathons or so, you have different expectations. You cannot help it. Simply finishing the race isn't enough, you want something to show for your weeks of blood, sweat and carbo loading. The race may not be a BQ* or even a new PR*, but you expect to have a decent enough run that you can be proud of.

Back to the wedding. The wedding is a just a day and the marriage is what's important. Future wife and I get that. That doesn't mean we don't want the day to be special for both us and our guests.

Weddings and marathons can be thwarted by events completely beyond your control. A hot day may blow your race day results.  A drunk photographer will impact the quality of the pictures from your special day. Being too drunk in either will not bode well at all.

In the end, you really cannot control everything for either the marathon or the wedding.  All you can do is plan for your day and hope for the best.


*******
BQ: Boston Qaulifying Time.
PR: Personal Record i.e. best marathon time you have acheived.

Save The Dates are transmitted

So this week's wedding related project is getting our Save-The-Date (STD) information out the door. Since you have to pay your financially responsible for every guest that shows up, giving them a six month head start not to make other plans seems kinda self defeating. But protocol demands it.

Wedding invitations and the accompaning STDs are the last vestigates of snail mail. If it were up to me, I'd use Facebook to do the work. And in about 5 years, that might be the norm. In fact I had the brilliant idea of skipping all that and sending out an Evite. We could have used the hide-the-guest list option so that everyone could comment back with their snail mail address and we'd have them all in one convienent place to forget about 4 months from now when we send out the actual invitations.

Apparently Emily Post was spinning in her grave because that idea was nixed by a completely unscientific poll of a few friends and two street wise vendors. I guess part of the fun of planning a wedding involves the task of hunting and gathering all these snail mail addresses and trying to figure out the proper way to spell someone's last name, their proper title and the real name of the person we've affectionately referred to as the Krazy Guatamalan all these years.

We also had to decide what exactly we were sending out. Do we send an ordinary post card, or a little note or something kitchy like a button with our engagement photo on it. This was one area that I chimed in. Most guys don't care about little details like the color of the table napkins, the font of the wedding program, or the guest list. Some guys only care that the biggest day of their life -- outside of the NFL draft pick -- doesn't conflict with a playoff game of their favorite sports team. I've carefully picked my moments on when to ask/insist/request something and when to let my better half make the decision.

I'd like to say that I put my foot down and said we absolutely are not sending everyone a chessey picture of us. But the truth is, I not only don't have a problem with that but think its one of the few moments in life when it is 110% absolutely all about you. The reason we didn't go with an engagement photo is becuase we just didn't have our act together enough to get one printed in time to get the STDs out.

I did insist on magnets however. Even though it goes against every fiber of my don't spend more money than you have to DNA i figured at least a magnet would serve a purpose beyond reminding people of our wedding date and website. Years from now, people will still have their grocery list supported on their fridge with our magnet.

Your Exact Situation May Vary, or be forgotten entirely

Because I have been exploring the Real Estate market for the last three years, I've made friends with many a realtor.  And by made friends I mean they have my email address and fall just short of stalking me.  Many will send me an are you ready to take the plunge and purchase a home email.  I'll write back and explain how I'm technically underwater on my mortgage but if they know someone else willing to take the plunge and buy my place, it could be a win-win.

No response and you can hear the silence on the internet.  Then two months later, another email will come from the same realtor asking if I'm ready to take the plunge, this time preambled with "I don't know your exact situation...".

How do these people not fall down more?  And how do they live with themselves? 

I got an email from one particular Realtor(tm) who asked a few questions. 

1) You are:

-Actively searching for a home now

-Planning to buy a home within 6 months

-Planning to buy a home later than 6 months from now

2) What price range?

3) What area(s) do you want to live in?

4) Are you interested in a specific neighborhood?

5) What kind of home do you want to buy?

6) What style of home do you want to buy (e.g., contemporary, colonial, tudor)?

7) How many bedrooms?

8) How many bathrooms?

9) Specific features (e.g., waterfront, large lot, garage size, built-in vacuum, distance to school):

10) Additional comments:

11) Do you have any questions? Is there anything else I can do to help?

All fair questions. And I sent a reply.  For number 2 I said my price range was $200-$350K.  I also answered the questions in painstaking detail.  [It takes a lot of effort to cut and paste doncha know.]

Let's just say the response was unbelievable.

Hi Icarus,
I have a house that I will list in the next two weeks on the 3900 block of StreetName. This is a brick bungalow completely gutted and rehabbed. It is not completed yet, it is slated for top of the line finishes and will be priced in the low 500's. I am thinking that if you choose lesser finishes, it could be priced lower.

I could get u floor plans. Let me know your thoughts. Is your condo on the market?

Fooley Shapiro
Broker
Imprudent Ripoff
Sent from my iPhone

Now, I realize expecting this realtor to actually read my answers to their questions would be asking a lot.  But I would think something like price range might be important enough to focus on.

here was my response:

Hi Fooley,
Yeah a floorplan would be a good start. What do you mean when you say "top of the line" finishes and how much of a price reduction could lesser finishes bring?


No, it is not on the market.


Icarus

I figured that would start a dialogue and the realtor(tm) would go back and re-read my answers. Apparently not.  They know how to work that iPhone though:

Hi Icarus, I think you could probably shave $ 30,000. Off the price by choosing lesser finishes. We are planning on listing at 535,000. So we could get it to $500,000. Then you could probably buy 30,000 lower. I don't see it going for less than $470000.


There are others too.


Where is your condo? We should put it on the market.


Regards,

Fooley Shapiro


Broker
Imprudent Ripoff
Sent from my iPhone

I decided it was time to end that conversation and haven't written back.  And I haven't heard from Fooley yet.  But I will bet you my down payment money that in a month or so, I'll get another email that starts ""I don't know your exact situation...".

Kitchen Redo...for now Part II



Kitchen Before



Kitchen Before

So when I left off, all the pieces were coming together figuratively at least. We needed to hang the cabinets, and install the appliances. While I consider myself quite handy and have learned a lot about DIY and hojme repair, I also know my limitations. I also know that even if I did figure out how to do those tasks, the time lost would be greater than paying someone who knows what they are doing not to mention the quality would not be as good.


Enter the Handy Man. From a referral from a friend, I contacted Mr Handyman and he was willing to come over and take a look. What I really liked from the beginning was, as we went over each task, he talked to me as if I could do it myself. "What you do is cut a small hole and insert a stud," or "you drill a couple of holes and use finishing nails".

Before Cabinet and Wine Rack

When it came time to talk about price he said that it works out best if we either come up with a full days worth of work, or just enough things so that they could take on a second job the same day. If we go over 6 hours, it's a full day rate anyway. Not a problem, as the wheels in my head started to spin.

Remember ABT and their expensive installation service? Mr Handyman knew how to do most of that as well. So when I bought the appliances, I decided that ABT could install the stove and the microhood, Mr Handyman and his crew could do the refrigerator and the dishwasher. My reasoning was that if worse came to worse, I could certainly figure out the dishwasher and the fridge on my own, or at least live a few days cleaning dishes manually and not having ice in the freezer.

After Cabinet and Wine Rack

The timing worked out beautifuly as the appliances arrived just as they finished the cabinets. The developer who put my condo together apparently placed the applainces first and then built the granite around it. The stove was wedged in and we worried we were gonna lose some tiles when ABT removed the old stove.

Luckily, the guys from ABT were not last in their class at Appliance Installation School They knew what they were doing and were able to remove the stove without breaking any tiles -- however ,they determined that they would have to remove some for the new microwave to open properly. Did i mention how lucky it was to have Mr Handyman right there!

So we had Mr Handyman:

• Hang a Cabinet and wine rack
• reinforce our curtain rod
• connect the butcher block top to the island
• cut and install the kickflap to the island
• connect the dishwasher
• connect the refrigerator
• hang a pot rack
• attempt to fix our accordion closet doors that won't stay shut

All for $390, materials included.  It would have cost me $250 to have ABT install the fridge and dishwasher so for another buck fifty, I got so much more.

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Kitchen Redo complete...for now

I mentioned a few posts ago about our plan to update our kitchen to increase and optimize the storage space. After over a month of having cabinets and pot racks cluttering up our dinning room, this project is finally done. It took a lot of coordination for all the moving pieces to come together, but in the end, it was worth it.

Originally we were going to build our own island using base cabinets and find a cheap piece of discontinued or slightly damaged granite for the top. Instead we found an already built island and butcher block top at HOBO for much less (~$400) than we could build. 

While at HOBO we found that we could buy a cabinet for the unused space for about $100.  But the question was, how to best optimize the space, server our current needs and possibly help our resale value at some future point.  The answer of course was wine rack!

If we wanted a bigger cabinet it would cost more money and we were trying to keep this project at a reasonable cost.  As luck would have it, HOBO had some stock cabinet and wine racks that came very close to matching my current kitchen. 

 

Next came the appliances.  My old appliances are at least 10 years old.  They might last another 10 years or they may fail one by one over the next decade, requiring replacing.  We decided that updating them served several purposes.  First, we have new, pretty looking stainless steel appliances that potential buyers desire.  Second, we have more updated appliances that are better functioning than their decade old counterparts.  Finally, we rationalized that if we are gonna be stuck here for a long time, we might as well make the best of it.

After researching appliances and costs, I learned that the Big Box stores all delivered for free and most did the free hall away too because they do this.  But they all charged a premium for installation.  For instance, the cost to install the microhood is about the cost of the microhood.  Of course once I saw what was involved with installing a microhood I realized why it cost so much and is worth every penny.   

After comparing all the Big Box stores deals on appliances, I determined that the package deal at ABT was our best option.  I also figured they were likely to have a good President's Day Sale.  Of course when we went and saw the appliance packages, we realized that we wanted better.   So you could call it the ole bait and switch except no one forced us to upgrade our appliances and the sales person did not try to pressure us in any way.

He did put together a wonder quartet of refrigerators, dishwasher, stove and microhood that wasn't at the low end of quality (or price) but wasn't at the extreme high end either.  We got a solid dish washer, an awesome stove, a decent microwave and as an unexpected bonus, a french door refrigerator. 

to be continued....

****************

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It Doesn't Pay to be Good

The following is a re-post from an old blog/column I wrote for another medium a long time ago. I've tweaked it a little to bring it up to date while hopefully keeping the content intact.

Lex Luther,  Anakin Skywalker, Michael Meyers and Elphaba Thropp have one thing in common. They started out as good people.

Spoiler alert: This column gives away plot points of Spider-Man and Star Wars: Attack of the Clones.

Over the last couple of weekends, I managed to catch up on my movie watching for the summer, which included the above-mentioned films.  I liked all but the last two minutes of Spider-Man.  I enjoyed the special effects and was pleased with how true the movie adaptation was to the Marvel Comics storyline.   I even liked the casting choices for Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire), Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) and the other characters.  I didn't like "Man Waiting for Bus" in scene 14 because his performance was so unbelievable, but I digress.

What I really didn't like was the ending in the graveyard where Mary Jane suddenly professes her love for Peter, a.k.a. Spider-Man.  Unfortunately our fine webbed friend has to turn down MJ’s sudden discovered love because being with her might be hazardous to her health.  Parker has been in love with Mary Jane since the day she walked into his life and now that he final has her, he is forced to give her up because of a higher calling: The Sequel.

Now take Star Wars: Episode II.  In it the young Anakin Skywalker - who will eventually become the evil and dastardly George W. Bush - gets married to the lovely Padmé Amidala (Natalie Portman).  True he loses an arm, which is technically getting off easy with what weddings cost these days.  While we’re on the subject, is it just me or wouldn't you expect that if they have the technology to send a message across the galaxy, they'd know how to reattach a severed limb? Well, the former Queen decides to marry the guy anyway.  Why? Because chicks dig evil! 

What attracted Anakin Skywalker to the Dark Side in "Episode II."

"In this film, you begin to see that he has a fear of losing things, a fear of losing his mother, and as a result, he wants to begin to control things, he wants to become powerful, and these are not Jedi traits," he said. "And part of these are because he was starting to be trained so late in life, that he'd already formed these attachments. And for a Jedi, attachment is forbidden."
http://archives.cnn.com/2002/SHOWBIZ/Movies/05/07/ca.s02.george.lucas/

Let's look at television while we're at it.  In the television series Smallville, a young Clark Kent, who will later grow up to become Superman, also has to give up any hope of ever being with either Lana Lang or Lois Lane.  In episode after episode - and I am qualified to make this generalization because I've seen almost five complete shows - Kent has the opportunity to get in good with Lana, but has to pass it up because of some pesky obligation to save some helpless mortal caught under a overturned tractor. 

Sidebar:  Annette O'Toole played Lana Lang, the girl Clark Kent left behind in his youth, in the big-screen feature Superman III. Now she takes her new place in the Superman saga playing a teenage Clark Kent's mother, Martha, in the new action-adventure series Smallville. (Source:  http://www.thewb.com/Faces/CastBio/0,7930,81,00.html). 

Now I have to think of a TV example where a bad guy gets the girl.  The only one I can think of is Charmed.  In Charmed, a television show about three sisters who are also witches…or is it three witches who are also sisters?  Anyway, these are good witches who must fight the forces of evil.  Every week, they somehow manage to magically vanquish a demon or warlock without smearing any makeup or messing up their hair.  These witches are extremely hot looking and could have any guy they wanted.  Yet Phoebe, the youngest witch played by Alyssa Milano, chooses to marry Cole, an upper level demon working for The Source, played by Bill Gates. 

So it seems that if you chose evil, you get the girl.  Do the right thing, and you're spinning web fluid alone, if you know what I mean.  Can anyone tell me where to sign up with the Dark side of the Force?

Wounded Knee: Cleared to run...kinda

So it has been approximately a month since my knee surgery.  Calling it surgery is a grand misnomer; it was more like a procedure.  I got my knee scoped.  While the doctor was looking around, he clipped my meniscus that was flapping around and getting caught in my knee cap.  So now I can kneel at the pews in church without grimmacing in pain.  When I go to church that is.

Unlike two of my friends who also had similar procedures, I was able to walk out of the operating room without crutches.  Sure there was swelling and stitches but I got out of it a lot better than most, at least in the short term.  The long term forecast is a little more uncertain.  A knee replacement isn't out of the question for my future.

My knee is like a car engine with over 100K miles.  If I just use it to get to the El station a mile away and run some errands on the weekend, I won't need to replace it any time soon.  If I make a few trips to the suburbs, as I do for Easter, Thanskgiving Day and Xmas, it might need a replacement sooner than later.  But if I try to visit my friends in St Louis twice a year for the next couple of years, the replacement knee will come sooner.

The doctor said that if he were the guardian of my knee, he'd say no more running, instead spending more time biking, swimming, spin class and/or elyptical. But we both know giving up running isn't an option.  A marathon this year is out of the question anyway since planning a wedding will likely consume all my free time.  And it's really nice not being tethered to a training schedule.  But I will be back out there running as much as my knee will allow.