Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Breaking Up should never be Too Easy to do

Several of my friends have gone through Major Life Adjustments this month. First, Sabrina and her boyfriend Mr Massage broke up early last week. It is sad to hear, especially since I introduced and technically facilitated setting them up.  They both sent me text and FB-mail messages letting me know though I think Nightingale and I suspected something was afoot weeks earlier.

Next, DrDrea is having issues with her best friend and now ex-bridesmaid.  Apparently Sela didn't want to take a back seat to DrDrea's sister in the Alpha Bridesmaid pecking system.  She decided that she would step down as Drea's bridesmaid with little more than four months before the Big Day.  I'm sure there are multiple sides to this and I don't know Sela as well as I know DrDrea, despite having known them for exactly the same length of time. However, unless a bride is asking you to give a Biker Gnome a blowjob at her bachelorette party, you put on your big-girl pants and do what she asks you to do to make her big day special.

Finally, Tracy has taken a slow first step on the road to recovery from the soul-sucking and demoralizing relationship with Fitz.  She finally moved out and got her own place in the city.  I watched some NCAA action with them the other night -- something Fitz would never have done back in the pre-Tracy* days.  She told me that he is more appreciative now and admits that he loves her and misses her. She's not buying it, of course, but she also has her addiction to him that keeps her from completely breaking off cold turkey.

*  Fitz didn't have an epiphany and suddenly start liking sports or see any merit in watching these games.  He only puts up with them because his meal-ticket insists. 

Having the benefit of knowing these people personally and inside information about some of the current and past issues they've all faced, I can safely say that the one thing they all have in common is the ability to recognize an issue and deal with it faster and more direct than they would have even a few years ago.

Not every relationship is meant to last forever and all relationships eventually do end. As we get older and navigate through the Mysteries of Life, hopefully we learn to handle ourselves and our relationships with an appropriate amount of grace and at least a modicum of class.

I've always hated the cliche: there's a reason why he/she is single because it implies that there is something beyond the de facto they haven't found the right person yet. There are times however that the reason is more than simply not winning the Find-You-Compatibility-Partner Lottery.

A long time ago, someone told me a sign of a healthy person is the ability to be friends with their exes.  Maybe not every last one and certainly not necessarily friends beyond common cordialness at social events or when you run into them on the street.  I have some exes that are cool and we are even friends on FB. There are others who still jump out of their skin when they see me at a streetfest or social event.  There's definitely a reason those ladies may still be single.  

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