Tuesday, June 13, 2017

It isn't always hugs and puppys

Sigh.  Over the weekend I received the following FB-mail from a former friend. 

Hi Icarus. I just wanted to let you know that I have unfriended you and I think it's only fair to let you know why as we have met face-to-face and are part of the same blogging group.

The bottom line is after your comment on my most recent thread, I no longer fully trust you. I was willing to even take a humorous hit directed at me on my own post about being a hack or a troll. But then when you let me know that you weren't joking and I specifically asked why, you did not respect me enough to respond. Nor did you in anyway stick up for me when fellow CN blogger said that I was not a good person on a comment thread that you started. I would never unfriend someone because they disagreed with me, but I feel that I offer others more respect than what you gave to me. And I have come to love myself too much not to have strong boundaries.

I just wanted to let you know as that is what I would want had the tables been reversed. I am glad that our paths crossed for a bit. And I offer a blessing to your and your lovely family.


So much to unpack here, but let's try.  It's already understood that is a final message, not a request for clarification or attempt to preserve our precious friendship. A healthier more confident well adjusted person would reach out first for clarification and then unfriend if they didn't like what they heard

I don't know what my comment has to do with trust and respect per se.  I asked a relevant question that lots of people would ask based on her post: was her account hacked or was she trolling everyone.  She never really clairified and I got too busy to follow up.Because if it isn't clear that your FB post is not the most important thing in anyone's life right now, I don't know what to tell you.

When you take the time to write an essay like this to someone, instead simply just silently unfriending it is always about YOU.  You know deep in the darkest reaches of your soul you are the one in the wrong here and you are trying to assuage your guilt by writing this treatises of justification.

I'm not sore about the unfriending, truth be told I was thinking about clearing her from my feed as well since we don't interact (I know that is mostly because of the insane FB algorithms).  But what I really hate about this is she gets to dump her last words behind the scenes at me so she can feel better without the world knowing what a phony New Age SJW she really is.  This Facebook Friend not only unfriended me because I didn't respond to her 128 comment thread, but she took the time to unlike my Facebook Writing page too. 

I'm sorry our fellow CN blogger sibling attacked her.  Jenna is a fantastic writer and has a way with words. However, with respect to their interactions with other, she often go through life Cos playing as a tantrum-throwing child.  Especially if they aren't 100% in lock-step agreement with her.

But that isn't on me.  She cannot hurt her the way Jenna hurt her.  So she is using the unfriending and final say note as a way to try and hurt me.


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