It Doesn't Pay to be Good

The following is a re-post from an old blog/column I wrote for another medium a long time ago. I've tweaked it a little to bring it up to date while hopefully keeping the content intact.

Lex Luther,  Anakin Skywalker, Michael Meyers and Elphaba Thropp have one thing in common. They started out as good people.

Spoiler alert: This column gives away plot points of Spider-Man and Star Wars: Attack of the Clones.

Over the last couple of weekends, I managed to catch up on my movie watching for the summer, which included the above-mentioned films.  I liked all but the last two minutes of Spider-Man.  I enjoyed the special effects and was pleased with how true the movie adaptation was to the Marvel Comics storyline.   I even liked the casting choices for Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire), Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) and the other characters.  I didn't like "Man Waiting for Bus" in scene 14 because his performance was so unbelievable, but I digress.

What I really didn't like was the ending in the graveyard where Mary Jane suddenly professes her love for Peter, a.k.a. Spider-Man.  Unfortunately our fine webbed friend has to turn down MJ’s sudden discovered love because being with her might be hazardous to her health.  Parker has been in love with Mary Jane since the day she walked into his life and now that he final has her, he is forced to give her up because of a higher calling: The Sequel.

Now take Star Wars: Episode II.  In it the young Anakin Skywalker - who will eventually become the evil and dastardly George W. Bush - gets married to the lovely Padmé Amidala (Natalie Portman).  True he loses an arm, which is technically getting off easy with what weddings cost these days.  While we’re on the subject, is it just me or wouldn't you expect that if they have the technology to send a message across the galaxy, they'd know how to reattach a severed limb? Well, the former Queen decides to marry the guy anyway.  Why? Because chicks dig evil! 

What attracted Anakin Skywalker to the Dark Side in "Episode II."

"In this film, you begin to see that he has a fear of losing things, a fear of losing his mother, and as a result, he wants to begin to control things, he wants to become powerful, and these are not Jedi traits," he said. "And part of these are because he was starting to be trained so late in life, that he'd already formed these attachments. And for a Jedi, attachment is forbidden."
http://archives.cnn.com/2002/SHOWBIZ/Movies/05/07/ca.s02.george.lucas/

Let's look at television while we're at it.  In the television series Smallville, a young Clark Kent, who will later grow up to become Superman, also has to give up any hope of ever being with either Lana Lang or Lois Lane.  In episode after episode - and I am qualified to make this generalization because I've seen almost five complete shows - Kent has the opportunity to get in good with Lana, but has to pass it up because of some pesky obligation to save some helpless mortal caught under a overturned tractor. 

Sidebar:  Annette O'Toole played Lana Lang, the girl Clark Kent left behind in his youth, in the big-screen feature Superman III. Now she takes her new place in the Superman saga playing a teenage Clark Kent's mother, Martha, in the new action-adventure series Smallville. (Source:  http://www.thewb.com/Faces/CastBio/0,7930,81,00.html). 

Now I have to think of a TV example where a bad guy gets the girl.  The only one I can think of is Charmed.  In Charmed, a television show about three sisters who are also witches…or is it three witches who are also sisters?  Anyway, these are good witches who must fight the forces of evil.  Every week, they somehow manage to magically vanquish a demon or warlock without smearing any makeup or messing up their hair.  These witches are extremely hot looking and could have any guy they wanted.  Yet Phoebe, the youngest witch played by Alyssa Milano, chooses to marry Cole, an upper level demon working for The Source, played by Bill Gates. 

So it seems that if you chose evil, you get the girl.  Do the right thing, and you're spinning web fluid alone, if you know what I mean.  Can anyone tell me where to sign up with the Dark side of the Force?

Wounded Knee: Cleared to run...kinda

So it has been approximately a month since my knee surgery.  Calling it surgery is a grand misnomer; it was more like a procedure.  I got my knee scoped.  While the doctor was looking around, he clipped my meniscus that was flapping around and getting caught in my knee cap.  So now I can kneel at the pews in church without grimmacing in pain.  When I go to church that is.

Unlike two of my friends who also had similar procedures, I was able to walk out of the operating room without crutches.  Sure there was swelling and stitches but I got out of it a lot better than most, at least in the short term.  The long term forecast is a little more uncertain.  A knee replacement isn't out of the question for my future.

My knee is like a car engine with over 100K miles.  If I just use it to get to the El station a mile away and run some errands on the weekend, I won't need to replace it any time soon.  If I make a few trips to the suburbs, as I do for Easter, Thanskgiving Day and Xmas, it might need a replacement sooner than later.  But if I try to visit my friends in St Louis twice a year for the next couple of years, the replacement knee will come sooner.

The doctor said that if he were the guardian of my knee, he'd say no more running, instead spending more time biking, swimming, spin class and/or elyptical. But we both know giving up running isn't an option.  A marathon this year is out of the question anyway since planning a wedding will likely consume all my free time.  And it's really nice not being tethered to a training schedule.  But I will be back out there running as much as my knee will allow.

I might have to redesign my island

So I'm hoping to undertake a personal project this year with respect to our condo. The practical goal is to increase storage space and functionality in the kitchen while also increasing my handyman cred.

First, I want to install an additional cabinet above the island that separates the kitchen from the dining room. For some reason, this was left empty and I can think of a few reasons for this. It's possible the developers ran out of time and wanted to save some money so they didn't bother. Or perhaps they wanted to give the owner options. Instead of installing a simple cabinet, it could be possible to install a longer cabinet (called a High Island Cabinet) parallel to the island. Or another possibility, which is also my biggest fear, is that it isn't possible to install a cabinet in this space because they cheated on the wall studs.

The other project is to build an additional floating island for the kitchen. At the moment we are using this old breakfast table that I bought from Venture before it went out of business. It's functional but doesn't provide enough storage. I'd like to build something using lower cabinet modules and maybe attach or build a dish rack onto the end of it.

We can slap a butcher's block or cheaper top (instead of expensive marble or granite) and either take it with us or leave it behind when we finally move in the Forever House.

The problem is I'm having trouble finding specs for cabinets so I can gauge what I have to work with and what I will need to improvise. Most of the stores don't really want to help you buy/build one cabinet item --they make their money installing a new kitchen for you. A guy at HOBO helped me out a bit yesterday but even then I felt like he was trying to convince me to upgrade to a better quality of stuff.

It has given me some things to think about though. Based on what he told me about standard cabinet sizes, if I want to do this for the least amount of money, I might have to redesign my island.

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Forever House: With each of us owning a condo that is either underwater or at least wading in it, we are limited to what we can do. We would much rather have a SFH. But that isn't in the stars for us at the moment. First, there isn't anything decent out there at the moment.

This is what my dream home looked like two years ago:

Besides the obvious: good neighborhood, low/no crime, proximity to expressways and good restaurants. I do realize that to get the majority of a wish list it might be necessary to sacrifice one or two items.


Prerequisites: I want a house, not a condo or a townhome, but a bona fide house, I’m partial to 4-squares but am warming up to bungalows. Also, the more recent things like the roof, the windows, and the mechanics have been updated the better.

• Proximity to the Blue Line. I don't like to drive and would prefer to be able to walk to a Blue Line station, preferably within less than a mile. Bonus if there is a Metra Station nearby.
• Basement: It needs to be tall enough for a 6' 2" fellow to stand upright in it. As long as it provides good storage and can also double as a workshop and workout room, I'm happy. Bonus if it is finished or partially finished or could be finished and turned into a ManCave or entertainment room.
• Attic: Bonus if it's finished but again, one that has potential to be expanded is ideal. I saw a place that had the water pipes run up to the attic already so that creating a dream master bedroom with bathroom, whirlpool and separate shower was a possibility later down the line. My understandings running the pipes up is a big part of the cost so having this already done is a must.
• Fireplace or at least a spot to put in a fumeless one.
• Garage 2 car or more. Carport might be okay but would prefer a place to safely park my car, a future wife's car and our bicycles.
• Kitchen: updated. I do not want to renovate a kitchen or any other room really.

So really I'm looking for a place that is ready to move in and doesn't need any mandatory renovations, only if I suddenly decide I have too much money in the bank (ha!) and decide I want to drop a wall to increase the size of a room or something.

So my  outlook has changed a little bit.  I'm not afraid to renovate a kitchen, bathroom or bedroom, but I do want a two-car (or more) garage.  I'm also more open to being further from the Blue Line if that's what it takes to get what we want.

However, this year is also about being happy about what I have, and not dwelling on what I want, so it may have to be a long time before I get this and by then we may not want the hassle that comes with a house.

Trying to get off to a good start

Friday was of course NYE, a dubious holiday. What was once the celebration of new beginnings, new outlooks and new hope has now become the holiday of the couple. I guess that beats the holiday of the hookup, which Halloween has gladly become.

We went to SHB's party. We skipped last year because SigOther had to work late and I didn't feel like going through hoops to make it to a party just to see a bunch of people who blew ours off.  It was a small group which is perfectly fine. Everyone kept asking about our wedding planning and my knee. Even when I tried to change the subject, we ended up back on one of the two when someone new arrived.

On Saturday we went to another FOM (Friend of Mine) gathering to watch some college football. While in the North shore, we went to a few stores then came home and watched TV and re-adjusted our time clocks from the previous night. 

Sunday we went to church for the first time this year...and the first time in a long time. While I enjoy mass, I'm finding that I don't quite get the same experience out of it as I did when I first started going, or during the darker times in my life.   It probably didn't help that behind us sat this couple with two little girls who were making a lot of noise.  I believe the homily and the gospel were related to children but I don't recall because I couldn't hear it over their voices. I refrained from turning around because the parents don't need me doing that - they realize how loud the fruits of their loins were.  And hopefully that buys us some karma down the road when its our rugrats making the noise.

Sunday afternoon we went to a runner friend's place to watch the Bears-Packers game.  The idea was for me to bond with her husband but he was gone on an errand and didn't make it back until the game began.  At that point SigOther and the girls had come back so our manfest was nullified.

After that, as I expected, we ended up going over to SigOther's sister's place for dinner, although we were stuffed, so we mostly just had some wine.  I was glad we went over there because it gave me a chance to ask if  I could borrow a tool -- however Future Inlaw either didn't have it or couldn't find it so there is another trip to Sears in my future.

Crowd Sourcing Fail

People mean well, but they often execute poorly: So I posted on FB the other day "Any ideas/recommendations for banquet halls or restaurants for a reception in or near the city?"

Let's just say I got the results I expected. Not expected as in several recommendations for places in or near the city -- I did get some of those -- but expected as in people stretching the definition of near the city and listing places that are not banquet halls, restaurants or even venues that could hold a reception if you tried.

Someone PM'd me, saying something along the lines of "if you have a favorite restaurant, you should ask them if they could do it."

Thanks Lieutenant Logic, because when I asked for restro recommendations, it never occurred to me to consider one of our favorite places.  Another person suggested two places but didn't know the names, only a vague location. I'll get right on that one.

I use to get more irritated when friends would do that but I've learned that it's not only the nature of Facebook but it's also the nature of people.  Most really do want to help but they just have a different view of what that help should be.

Wounded Knee: Last Run of 2010 and Beyond

Yesterday evening I went for my last run of the year, and last run for the foreseeable future. It was along the lakefront downtown and how appropriate that light snow started to fall as I reached the turnaround point of a six-mile run.

In a few hours, I get my knee scoped. My knee has been bothering me for a long time and when my race obligations were over for the year, I finally went in for an MRI. Then I went to an orthopedic doctor and got an opinion. Then I got a 2nd opinion because that's what my primary care physician told me to do.

The two opinions were more alike than different. Both said that I didn't need to do anything today, tomorrow or next Wednesday. But Doctor #2 said that only a scope would tell us for sure what was going on and he talked about my torn (missing) ACL which Doctor #1 didn't really bring up.
So I decided to get on Doc#2 calendar and have the outpatient surgery.

The possible outcomes of the scope are:

• Most likely, the doctor looks around, he sees what he suspected -- that my cartilage is beat up and should someday be replaced, but not this decade.
• Possible chance the doctor looks around and says "yeah no more marathons for you."
• Outside chance the doctor says "actually, no more running unless its for the bus."
• And always the chance the doctor says well if you want to run/marathon again, you need a cartilage transplant and while we're there, we might as well repair your ACL.

Perhaps it is more than appropriate that an available date fell on the Winter Solstice -- the day of the year with either the least amount of daylight or the most darkness. While I'm not excited about having my knee cut, I know it's my best chance for getting back on the running path. Therefore I choose not to dwell in the darkness, but to seek the light for a change.

Whatever happens, happens. Some people hang up their running shoes after Labor Day. Some wait until the temperature dips below a certain point. Others stop at the first snowfall. And some of us just need a doctor's order to stop running for a while.

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The UnBearable Holiday Cards

Even the e-cards seemed to be too much bother: I stopped sending out Christmas cards years ago. It wasn't a sudden stop, more of a gradual fade. It was my way of going green long before going green was in vogue.

I don't begrudge anyone who still takes the time to send out a real, physical holiday card. In fact, I do appreciate being on the receiving end of the thought. It's probably helping the post office with stamp purchases and keeping hallmark in business. [Though one could argue that the postal carriers would prefer we all go digital with those cards.]

But I have to ask, if you are scrambling each year to find the same addresses that you scrambled for last year and the year before, and you're trying to figure out which friends will be offended if you say xmas instead of holiday (did we remember the Chanukah cards for our accountant?)...is it really worth the hassle?
It's one thing to get pictures of the children, or a newsletter with an update on what you and the fam have been doing all year, or even a personal note inside the card cover.  But when I open the card and it's just your name and your family in the same hand writing, part of me wonders, what's the point?

Over the years I've got cards from friends with pictures of their kids. But some, presumably in a rush, didn't write the name and age of the child on the back. So while your kid looks great in glasses in and braces, I cannot tell yours from the other five friends who got married ten minutes after college graduation and started spawning a family.

Speaking of newsletters, I recall once getting a couple of newsletters from two mutual friends, lets call them the Jones and the Smiths. I talked to one of them on the phone shortly after getting the cards, but they hadn't talked to the other yet. I mentioned a few things from the newsletter (and yeah I was cheating because I had it right in front of me) and they were surprised I was so up to date on the other person.

I asked "didn't you get their xmas card?"

They responded "Yeah but we haven't had time to read it yet...hey did you get ours?"

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How It All Started:  I've been a Bears fan since 1995, when I started playing in the office Confidence Pool.  In order to figure out which teams to pick, I started watching the games and got hooked on the local team.  That was the year they went 9 and 7 and missed the playoffs because of an early season loss to Atlanta. Little did I know that this irony would set the tone for my life long agony as a Bears fan.

History tends to repeat itself. In 2008 they also missed the playoffs with a 9-7 record thanks in part to a loss to Atlanta. 

In 2001, after several sucky seasons, they cruised to the playoffs and after a bye-week got beatup by the Philadelphia Eagles. History repeated itself in 2005.

In 1994, after a sketchy season, they backed into the playoffs and surprised everyone by advancing in the wild card game against Minnesota on the road.

So the question is, will 2010 be a surprise in the playoffs like the 1995 wild card team that surprised everyone and advanced one round, only to get crushed by San Diego?

Or will they miss the playoffs entirely? Right now they are posed to win their division unless the Patriots don't show up at home next Sunday against the Aaron Rodger-less Packers. Even then, they would just have to win another game against the Vikings that Monday.  I'm not saying they couldn't find a way to lose and drag this out.  What I'm really saying is this could be the year they return to the Super Bowl and lose to the AFC -- again.