We have 4th graders

School starts early down here, August 1st to be precise. I don't know why since it doesn't seem like we get out of school significantly before other regions, nor do we have more days off.  But to be honest, I still need to do the maths to be certain.

Now I'm back to having my days free from 8:15 to 3:15 pm.  By free I mean I can work on things that weren't easy to do while also taking care of two/three kids all summer.

When we started First Grade, I used to go wait in the car pickup line at 2:30 pm.  They release the kids at 3:15 so there I sat listening to podcasts, or talking to the recruiter who would ghost me the next week.  With my last contract gig keeping me busy and not respecting my calendar -- I negotiated that my lunch would be 2:30 - 3:30 so i could pick up my kids.  I discovered that getting in the queue at 3:15 is better because it only takes 15-30 minutes at most to get to the front of the line.  So it's better all round while we get home closer to dinner.

This elementary school is from kindergarten to 5th grade.  That gives us roughly two years to figure out our next move.  Housing prices are skyrocketing and returning to Chicago doesn't not seem to be on the table.  

I'm Not Lovin It

It will come as no surprise to anyone with small children that we visit McDonalds an average of once a week.  Usually, it's because we are on a road trip, or we want to burn their energy so we go to one with a playroom.  Sometimes there's a playdate involved or it's a reward bribe for good behavior.

In any event, we use the McDonald's App because it's easier to order Natasha's special cheeseburger (ketchup, pickle only) than to trust a drive-through window order.  And in theory, there are some rewards and deals.

In Theory

As you might expect with a points system, the amount of points you need to purchase any item is high.  something like 4500 for medium fries, 6000 for large.  And you can only redeem one item per order.  So even if you have enough points to get a sandwich and fries, tough.  You have to pick one.  This seems like Bullshit because I've already paid for those points, I should be able to buy as much as my points allow.

And they don't let you redeem points on the same order you are using a Deal.  Also Bullshit.  I only put up with it because we do it frequently enough and it's better than nothing.  

Oh and the app defaults to the closest McDonald's, which is 2.2 miles away in neighboring South Haven.  But the one with the playroom is 4.6 miles away in Olive Branch.  [We live practically on the border of South Haven and OB].  So even though I explicitly selected the OB one today, it flipped back to the SH and I had to cancel the order (the cancel button is buried within the app) and re-order.  

I have found some workarounds that I'm sure McD's Headquarters is working on fixing.  

When the kids were younger, Boris wanted the chicken nugget Happy Meal and Natasha wanted the cheeseburger one (it's a burger and you have to pay for the cheese upgrade!).  

When we visit to play at the playpen in person, I will place the kids' order and usually get the Happy Meal with points for one of the kids and pay for the rest.  This earns me more points.

After their food comes, I will place my order.  Often I have enough for a free sandwich myself.  So I just get a free sandwich and pay for my fries.  Now that they are older, using some of the Deals is advantageous instead of getting two Happy Meals.  Especially since Boris's appetite is larger.  

Case in point: today I used their $5 bundle to get the cheeseburger for Natasha -- the McDouble is essentially a double cheeseburger and I could customize it.  I still got Boris his 6 PC McNugget Meal which then gives him 10 total McNuggets.  Natasha got both the small fries with her order and the medium I got for the Happy Meal, so I ordered Boris a large fries.  I also got to use a 20% off Deal on the meal because none of those items are Deals themselves.

Together this cost $14.45 with tax.

After their food arrived, I had to wait a few minutes to place my next order since I wanted to use a deal.  I think the default is 15 minutes.  They had a Deal where you can get 30% off ANY Quarter pounder.  The assumption is you're gonna grab one of the cheaper ones but I opted for the Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese Deluxe.  This normally sets you back $6.99 but I got it for $5.33 after tax.  

I suspect this will be quietly coded such that you cannot select certain quarter-pounder options the same way my free breakfast sandwich won't show me the Steak Biscuit option anymore.  

 Immediately after placing it, I ordered a medium french fries using points.  The girl behind the counter knew what I was doing and gave me a smile since Gaming the System is the War Cry of the working class.  

Between the three orders, I got to feed two kids and myself for $19.78.  Go me.  

Last Sleep in Day for a While

The kids go back to school on Thursday.  Tomorrow is Boris' OT appointment so we get up at 7 to be out the door by 7:50 for a 30-minute session that begins at 8.  And Saturday at 8:30 is Natasha's soccer practice.  

One of the problems with living in the South is the summers are just too hot to really be outside.  And almost everything we can do inside costs money.  it's not that we cannot afford it, but like a lot of things, it has its limits.  We can only do so much bowling, arcade, Urban Air, and swimming pool (that one is free) before the kids get tired of it.  

The seasons down here kinda work like this:   

• From the end of May to the middle of September it is too hot to do much outside and it doesn't really cool off in the evenings.
  
  
• From the middle of Sept to mid-November it's nice and you can get things done.  Even on the hotter days, there is a morning window and an evening window.
  
  
• mid-November to the end of February is what is considered winter here. And it might snow or you might need some warmer clothes but it's great for being outside.
  
  
• March to Mid-May is spring and it's the opposite of Fall.

What should have been

 It always makes me a little sad when this image comes up in my On This Day in Facebook.  I really thought this would be my dream job.  I enjoyed going into the office, even though that was challenging with 2 two-year-olds that needed to be dropped off at daycare.

When things started going South I hoped I would make it to year 5 because that would be fully invested in the 401K match.  Not a huge deal but every bit helps.  I have been struggling to get new employment because of my age, my location, and my personality.

If I hadn't been laid off, would we still have moved down here?  Perhaps.  But maybe it would have been an anchor that would make it easier to move back.  We'll never know.  

Office Nemisis won.  

January is the longest month

 For those keeping track at home, our kids were on break from school since Dec X.  They went back on January 4th for two days.  Then we kept them home that Monday because of COVID.  We sent them back but this week they were off on Monday for MLK Day.  But since Mississippi experienced more snowfall (8 inches) and colder weather (zero degrees) than usual, school was closed on Tuesday and Today.  It will likely be closed all week because the temperatures will get not high enough to melt something like it usually does down here next week.

Now, to be sure, it makes perfect sense that MS doesn't invest heavily in snow removal equipment. If you average 1 inch of snow yearly that typically melts a day later, why spend the money?   Reports vary but we don't have snowplows or salt trucks, or if we do, there is only one per county, if at all.

That doesn't mean I have to be happy about it.  The amount of snow Mississippi received would not raise an eyebrow back in Chicago.  We would have dug ourselves out and the roads would have been plowed in time for Tuesday morning commuters.  

Luckily, my kids have discovered that a schoolmate lives kitty-corner to our lot line.  So they have had someone to play with outside in this cold.  They wore themselves out yesterday and slept through the night without any issues.  Well, Boris went to bed early because of a headache which seems to have disappeared today.  I'm making sure he drinks more water today to rule out simple dehydration.

Last Day of May

We went to Huntsville, Al for Memorial Day weekend to see the NASA Rocket and Space Center.  We thought the kids, especially Boris, would love it.  They did have a good time, but we set our expectations too high on how much they would want to be there.  

Huntsville is a very nice blue dot in the middle of a Red State.  And we had a genuinely nice time there.

I was worried about getting my steps in but managed to get them in quite early each day.  As of right now I'm 29/31 and will likely get today's in as well.  What does this do for me?  nothing much.

Before we left for vacation, I tried to get my haircut at the place I go to down here.  I had an appointment but when I arrived, they were taking walk-ins before me.  After 15-20 minutes I got up and left.  No point saying anything and I don't think it was personal.  Another person experienced the same thing.  I suspect they were being loyal to their regulars although I've been going there for about a year so I would hope I was recognized.  Of course, I will never go there again so it doesn't matter.

I got my hair cut yesterday where I take the kids.  Not only is it closer to the house, but it's an even better overall experience.  MC wasn't much on creature comfort.

Two changes at the Icarus Compound

Two things I forgot to write about (thus I'm retro-posting this) two changes in our life.  First,  the decision to send our kids to parochial school for kindergarten.  With COVID requiring public schools to be online, Nightingale felt, rightfully so, that I wouldn't be able to handle keeping the kids engaged with schoolwork while simultaneously job hunting and managing the household.  

First Day of School, last week of August

We enrolled them in St John's Lutheran school which is about a half-mile from our house.  Drop off is even easier than at Belding, which was easier than Daycare.  I imagine drop off at Belding would have been easier for kindergarten than pre-K before COVID.  Not having to go inside a building or even walk someone to the door is just easier.

Pickup is a little tougher.  If I go at 3pm, I'm waiting for 20 minutes.  If I go at 3:15, I'm waiting for 10 minutes.  If I go at 3:20, surprise they got out early and are waiting for me in the playground.  Also, you still have douche bag parents who park in such a dickish manner that it behooves you to get there a little early.

It took no time at all before the kittens made themselves at home, as kittens do

The second change was the addition of two kittens as presents for Boris and Natasha's 6th birthday.  We got these cuties the weekend after the twins' birthday when the kittens were about three months old.  The kids named them Elsa and Ryder and it turns out Boris is highly allergic.  We are keeping them though, both the kids and the kittens.

Update from the future:  It turns out that people who are allergic to cats can become used to? unallergic to their own cat.  I don't remember exactly when it happened, but Boris is no longer sneezing or coughing when he pets Ryder.  This means Ryder has one more person who is now obligated to pet him when it strikes his fancy.

Short Winter, no running goals and pushing our luck

January is essentially over.  February is a short month although this year it has an extra day.  And while there is no guarantee that March and April will be snow-free or even snow-lite, it does feel like this will turn out to be a mild winter.  Which is good for a guy who no longer owns a snowblower.

We might be pushing our luck a little bit.  Not only do I sneak out during my workday to pick up the kids from school, but I also need to sneak out a little early to get them to Tae Kwon Do twice a week.
 Unfortunately, Boris got kicked out of TKD so now we need to come up with something else for him to do to burn energy and not sit around all day watching screens. 

While I decided not to have a running goal for 2020, I still intended to run whenever the mood and opportunity suit me.  Today is the 28th of January and I've run 25 miles this month.  I'm hoping to get a run in tomorrow but even if I don't run another mile this month, I will only be 6 miles under the MPD objective of last year.

Update 01/30/2020:  I just got back from a 4 mile run with Mr Lumpy.  That brings my total up to 29.5 for January, so I was short by 1.5 miles without even trying.

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Optimal Parking Spot

After attending public school for two months now, I have some observations.  It only took me a week to figure out the drop off and parking situation.  Basically, you want to find the spot that is closest to the building but farthest from all the Drop Off Drama.

If we leave the house before 7:20 and everything lines up correctly, we can snag this spot.  My kids love it because there is a ramp for them to jump onto, which avoids any mud.  This won't work once snow covers the ground.  I like it because I can use the driveway of the abandoned house across the street to execute a three-way turn and head back the way I came.  Alternatively, if I have a clear enough path in front of me, I can head north and pick up Cullom Avenue without waiting too long.

The afternoon pickup is a little more tricky.  Morning drop off is between 7:30 and 7:45, but for some reason, afternoon pickup is precisely at 2:45 pm.  Since we don't have After Care, I have been essentially taking a break from work and going to pick them up.  In order to minimize time away from the work desk,  I leave at 2:30, usually get there between 2:35 and 2:40 so I don't have to wait too long.  One time I was parking at exactly 2:45 so when I walked up to pick up, Natasha thought I was late.  I tried to explain that I usually was just one of the first parents in line but today I was at the back, but she wasn't having any of that. 

I can usually get the kids and be back at my desk by 3pm.  Sometimes it goes a little over if there is heavy traffic or the kids take their sweet time getting to and into the car.  We only have to do this for four more months so hopefully there aren't any conflicts with work between now and then.

Now for those observations.  There is always that one parent who parks blocking the sidewalk because their little snowflake cannot walk two more car lengths to the empty spot...or they don't want to park that far for reasons.  There are also a few people who either don't know or don't care how to drive through a round-a-bout. 



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Happy first few days of 2020

I hope 2019 wasn't too terrible for you.  It couldn't end fast enough for me.  For some reason, years that end in 9 always turn out craptastic for me.

Since Nightingale's parents moved to Olive Branch, MS, holidays have defaulted to going there because Younger_Sister is also nearby.  As the kids get older each road trip is a little easier but ultimately it is still me just watching my kids in a different zip code.

We typically drive to Mt Vernon, Ill and spend the night at a Drury Inn, which apparently is halfway to a lot of destinations.  One time I struck up a conversation with this guy who was going to Virginia Beach from Colorado!  He told me he drives 13 hours, comes to this hotel, and then gets up at 3 in the morning to drive the next 13 hours!

The Drury is nice in that it includes a buffet dinner and breakfast.  Nothing fancy, or even remotely healthy, but it saves us the trouble of getting back in the car to search for food after having the kids strapped into their car seats for 4+ hours.  And it has a nice indoor/outdoor pool that is good for running down my kids' battery so they sleep.  So we burn an extra 2 days for travel but it is better than being in the car for 10+ hours.

It wasn't too bad this trip.  The in-laws managed to keep their political viewpoints under wraps until almost the last day (usually they break by midweek).  My FIL doesn't like his quiet routine disrupted and all the grandkids running around getting into things did get him to go full OLD_MAN_GET_OFF_MY_LAWN mode before not too long, but otherwise, it was one of the better trips in recent years.

That said, ever time  I think moving down there won't be so bad, BIL Jethro does a good job of talking me out of it by simply opening his mouth and spewing Fox News talking points.  I remind myself that he is just voicing out loud what a lot of people down there are thinking inside.

We are being pressured to move down there.  Nightingales' dad is 76 and he is having health issues.  the sister that lives down there already isn't capable of taking care of him, especially now that she has an almost 2-year-old.

We do have to move.  Our house has some warts that just aren't worth the money to remediate especially since our school system is okay, but not great.  I don't want to make it sound like our house is terrible nor do I want to dive into all the issues.  Let's just start with Air Conditioning.  We only have window units and it is cost-prohibitive to install space pack, Mitsubishi wall units or even standard central air.

The issue is if we move to a good school system, we get less house.  Or we can move to the suburbs where we don't know anyone and Nightingale's commute would suck even more.  She would likely have to quit her job and if she's gonna do that, then why not move South and enjoy a lower cost of living.

The other issue is my mom.  The smart, adult thing would be to sell her home and use the money to purchase a decent home that could comfortably house her, me, Nightingale and the kids.  But she won't do that.  Instead, we'll move to Mississipi and then she'll decide to join us or die and I'll have to come back and deal with all of the probates.  Alternatively, she could sell her home, and we could pay this one off and she could live here and we'd become snowbirds.

But no.  She'll wait until we move down there and then either come visit and never leave, while still footing the utilities for her home, or she'll die and I'll have to come back here and try to settle things up over weekends while incurring hotel and airfare costs.

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First Day of PreSchool

A few weeks ago, we got an email that there was an open pre-school spot for Boris at a nearby public school.  We asked about Natasha and they found one for her too.  This would mean not paying for daycare any longer.  While we hem and haw about where were are going to live, even our most aggressive plans for moving still have us here in the spring.  Which means a substantial saving if this pans out.

 The hours are more strict.  We have to drop them off between 7:30 and 7:45 am and pick them up at 2:45 pm.  With Daycare we could and have dropped them off as late as 8:15, though I generally avoided that if I could.  We could also pick them up as late as 7pm when we first started and then 6 pm once Daycare realized that model didn't work for them.

If they were getting some superior education at Daycare or if it were only for a couple more months, I would be inclined to actually keep them at daycare.  But we are talking about a significant amount of money here.  And it's not like they are learning a foreign language or computer coding or anything.

So a new learning curve begins.  So far we have been able to get to school on time, which irks me when I think about it because that means we could have done this all along.

I've already figured out that the drop off is another Circle of Hell that makes the daycare parking lot a fond memory.

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A fun evening at the beach

a few weekends ago, we gathered the chillins and pack up our beach gear and headed from the lakefront.  The idea was to meet up with some old runner friends for a reunion of sorts.  The reunion didn't happen for various reasons but we kinda knew that going in.  That's' why we designed the trip as a make good on our promise to take the kids to the beach all summer instead of a catch up with people we haven't seen in ages thing.

The weather was perfect.  The beach was not too crowded but not empty.  There was even a party going on a 100 yards or so from us which provided some background music that blended well with the serenity of the evening.

The kids had a blast.  My only wish was that we left just as it was getting dark because it is hard to gather everything when there isn't enough light and the beach seems to convert to a single peoples' place after dark when families generally go home.

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Labor Day Fun

This was perhaps one of the best Labor Days I can remember in a long time. That's not to say the last
few have sucked or anything but this one had the right combination of just enough to do to keep busy but not too much to be overscheduled.

Nightingale had taken most of last week off in an attempt to get the house better organized and work on some pet projects and also maybe engage in some personal she-time (massage, pedicure, etc).  However, Boris and Natasha decided to get sick and couldn't go to Daycare on Wednesday and Thursday, which blew a lot of that out of the water.

They were healthy enough to go to Daycare on Friday and Nightingale managed to purge a bunch of toys from the attic and other play areas.  We dropped off a big load at the Salvation Army on Saturday on the way to Taste of Polonia.

For once, the weather was just right for this event.  Not too hot, not too cold, no rain (well a little late afternoon once we decided to leave).  We put our kids in the bounce house and they spent a good combined 3 hours there burning off energy.  Last year it was too hot and it had rained the day before so the houses were a little waterlogged.

The other thing that made it easier as it was just us.  While we love meeting up with someone, the downside to that is balancing agendas.  Since it was just us we didn't have to worry about seating for a lot of people or who wanted to do what.  We just took turns looking at things and then spent a boatload of money on Polish food. 

I did run into a pseudo-friend from the No-Name Software Company.  This was a person who I thought we were better friends but I overestimated my value.  A couple years ago at the annual event, we were chatting and she asked if I was staying for dinner.  I wanted to catch up and get the backstory and company gossip but didn't realize that she was just making conversation.


Sunday it rained in the morning so it wasn't conducive to go outside.  We let the kids stay in which was more for our benefit than theirs.

On Monday we met Katness at a pool in Wilmette and even though it was colder than normal, we managed to make it until about 2:45 pm.  Then we went back to her place and had a cookout for dinner.

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Monday Monday Monday

I've been working on projects around the house all year (and last year) in order to put the house on the market.  We made the decision to wait until Spring to list.  While I think the major items have been addressed, there are still some smaller items that need looking into. 

By then we should also have better answers about my job uncertainty and where we want to live.  If a miracle that allows us to stay in Chicago doesn't occur, we ship the kids off to grandparents in the Memphis area and stag the house for selling.  With the money we save on Daycare we should be able to not only buy a nice home but put a sizable down payment so that we pay it off quickly.

Meanwhile, we are both going to explore some lateral job moves that might allow us to stay here.  I'd love a setup where we have homes in both places so we get a good school system on the cheap but also the amenities of a blue city.

I just got back from the Post Office.  We ordered a Hugglepod stand which should have arrived on the 15th.  It didn't and I contacted the USPD.  Setup re-delivery for the 21st...didn't happen.  Set up re-delivery for the 24th, didn't happen.   I decided to go in person since our local PO is just down the street from our kids daycare.  wouldn't you know it that today is raining so bad, they had flooding and were not taking customers!  I kinda threw a fit and someone asked what I needed.  Told him and he found someone to look for me.  After about 25 minutes they found my missing package.  I asked what happened and he said, on the sly, that it must have been a female carrier who didn't want to lift the heavy (32 lbs) package.

Whether that is true or not, we have had both male and female carriers delivering over this span.  Surely someone could have delivered it by now?

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The latest new normal

For the longest time, I was going crazy trying to get the kids to daycare and myself to work on time.  The older they got, the more rebellious they became.  It was stressing me out and I was taking it out on them and Nightingale.  My anxiety came from the work situation which I'll write a post about at some point.  Essentially, it was not doing my career any favors being late all the time especially since I could not really stay late either.

We just need 178 more drinks of water

So when the opportunity to WFH full time came along it seemed like a no-brainer.  Take the kids to school, get back home and maybe even have a little time to get a run in before work.  Alas, it did not go as expected.  It is as if they somehow knew that I have a little more cushion so they decided to delay getting up and getting ready for school.  I would say we have the following buckets:

• Get to school with just enough time for me to get back in time for work
• Get to school with me getting back with enough time to run/relax/mow the lawn
• Get to school with me getting back late

I did finally learn that it is better for me to pick them up closer to 5:30 than 5 like I did most summer (I'm a slow learner).  The sooner I pick them up, the more time I have with them until Nightingale gets home and playing zone is so much harder than man-to-man when it's pre-schoolers.


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Not the best weather this summer

The weather this summer was, to use the technical term, sucky.  For every decent, comfortable day we had two days of either rain or hot and sometimes both.  There weren't as many sit on the front/back porch and enjoy my coffee moments like last year.  On top of that, it wasn't always possible to let the kids spend time in the backyard burning off energy.

With the weather so sucky, It was hard to get anything done around the house.  As I've said before to get things done around here, I need the intersection of appropriate weather, daylight, energy and my kids NOT being here.  I was often in short supply of three-fourths of those items.

Though I consider it done, I still have to touch up the porch somewhat.  I want to install the quarter rounds and I really should paint those lattices.

This summer I sold a few things using Letgo and Facebook Marketplace.  Yesterday I even bought something.  Nightingale wasn't sure when I showed it to her but she declared it a good buy once she sat in it.  The kids also like it, especially Natasha because she can get all cozy in it.

When I only WFH on Fridays, if I didn't get some project done, I had to wait a week.  Since moving to 100% WFH, if I don't get to it on Monday, I can try again on Tuesday.  or Wednesday.  etc.

Tomorrow I have to go into the office for the first time in a month and the second time since Memorial Day.  Our director is in for something and he wants to meet me in person.  I'm not sure what to expect.

I have to admit, this week and two weeks ago have been my best weeks at Big Audit Firm.  It's no coincidence it is because my colleague is out on PTO.


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They love this water fountain

As part of our new morning routine at school, we have to stop and get some drinking water.  Although Boris can easily reach the shorter water fountain, he wants the higher one.  Natasha is happy with the one she can almost reach without a step stool but the stool does make it easier. 

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Halloween in July

Our daycare does this thing in the summer where it switches to Summer Camp and has more fun activities like the title of this post.  I'm not sure why they didn't make it July 31st since Halloween is, much to my objection, held October 31st so it would have some symmetry.  Not to mention parents would more likely forget to bring candy and put their kids in costume on a Monday after a weekend of not having to deal with daycare.

We spent some money recently on baby sitters.  We found a college kid who is reasonably priced and can handle our two D-nuggets while we go off and run errands.  We also have a 12 year old girl down the block who can also watch them.  Keep in mind neither of these are Super Nanny as that is just as staged as the HGTV shows about buying and flipping property.

A lot of things that need to be done around the house require the intersection of appropriate weather, daylight, personal energy and someone keeping moose and squirrel occupied.  Often we have two or three of those but not the last element.

We did a lot of gardening that we had put off for frankly far too long.  I learned how to use an Edger, although I still need more practice.


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Tuff and Needle Matress Two Years later

I didn't even remember I had wrote about the new mattress until I got a form letter email soliciting that I do something to help someone else, without any benefit to myself.

It might be a coincidence but pretty much from the day the new mattress arrived, the kids stopped sleeping in their cribs and began sleeping with us.  I tried removing the railing and turning their cribs into a makeshift toddler bed.  The novelty of that lasted about a week.  Then I bought them their bunk bed, which also was cool for about a week.  They have slept with us pretty much for the last two years.

Sometimes I take one kid into the guest bed, which has been moved to their old nursery, nee my old office.  Sometimes both of them come along.

the winter is in retreat, with the usual skirmishes as it does so this time of year.  Good thing too because my electric snow thrower bit the dust a few weeks ago.

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what did we do this weekend

Saturday we stayed in.  raked the leaves.  Our kids were not feeling well.  on Sunday we met Katness at the MCI and then went back to her house to watch the Bears lose another "close" one.

I'm at the point where I should know better than to get my hopes up about the Bears.  No matter what happens to Green Bay, they were not going to loss 3 games in a row especially to the bears.  beating the Bears has been indoctrinated in their DNA.  If you cannot beat a Aaron Rodgers less Packers team, there isn't much hope for you.

This team is looking like the 4-12 season (the 2nd one) the Bears had in the late 90s.  It's mostly because of internal politics...the GM wants to get rid of the current coach.  I'm convinced we lost more games than we should have last year in order to get the lowest draft pick possible.  Which means we have to suffer through another ugly season and then maybe have a decent rebuilding next year and beyond. 

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Thank you for reading and I hope you will comment below. Here's the part where I beg for stuff because we get paid in likes, shares, re-tweets and feedback. If you like my posts, funnies and random facts, please also do any and all of the following:
Follow Mysteries of Life on Twitter (@MysteriesOLife), Facebook or subscribe via email.