Mysteries of Life: June 2022

Thursday, June 30, 2022

Down to 8 lives now

The other day I’m doing laundry and I put the load from the washer into the dryer. Before doing so, I take a blanket out of the dryer (from the previous load) and walk not 10 yards away to put it on the sectional.

Ryder: a near-death experience changes ya, man

Close the door and hit start. A few minutes later I happen to walk by and hear a thumping. I open the dryer and see my cat had gotten in there without me noticing. Luckily it had only been 5 minutes and though he was gasping like he was out of breath, he’s fine now, though it took a day before he would purr.

Elsa needs another cup of coffee, or something stronger

We laugh now but I shudder to think what would have happened if I didn’t notice for the entire 30 minutes. Our Google Research showed that this is not an uncommon occurrence because cats love to explore new places and warm laundry is very attractive. It also showed that many of these occurrences don't end well, so again, very fortunate.

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Keeping the Faith

So it's been 2 years since I was laid off from Big Audit 2.0. Since then I've talked to a zillion recruiters, had dozens of interviews, and one contract gig. The contract gig, despite its drama, was more of a liferaft than I ever imagined. It lets me reframe the narrative from "I've been unemployed since July 2020" to "I've been unemployed since May 2022". Because without a job, I have no power. No control over my life.

To say I'm losing faith is an understatement. I know I've blown a few interviews, but it doesn't seem mathematically possible to have blown them all so badly that no one will take a chance on me.

To be sure, there have been 5 places this year alone that should have taken me on, based on my experience alone. Two were even contract gigs which would be low risk if it didn't work out.

There were interviews given by people who don't know how to conduct an interview.
There were interviews where the role described did not match the job description given.
There was a job interview where one of the interviewer was drinking wine.
There was a job interview where the interviewer was wearing an ill-fitting T-shirt.
There was a job interview where the interviewer picked his nose.

In my field, there are a few options. I can work for a law firm and be a Widget Engineer. They might call it something different. If I'm lucky, I can find another Audit or non-law firm company that uses the No-Name Software. Finally, the last option is to work for one of the consulting firms that get hired for short-term implementation or upgrade projects.

And I'm so ANGRY. Angry that my Office Nemesis is still employed there. Angry that he was allowed to bully and harass me with no repercussions.

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Monday, June 20, 2022

Slightly Reduced Humble Brag

In my old apartment, and later in my condo, I had a wall devoted to my Running Achievements. Specifically, it held the framed marathon certificates and the medals I received from completing various races. At first, it was just marathons but over the years, smaller races decided to give finisher medals as well. When we moved into the house, I left the certificates in the moving box, thinking one day I would find an appropriate place for them. The medals went on this:

I paid $5-10 for it at a garage sale I drove past during lunchtime when I worked out in Oak Brook Terrace.

Now that we've moved to Mississippi, I've decided to purge a lot of things. I was going to just put up the certificate from my best race, the Spirit of St Louis Marathon in 2006 where I ran a 3:29:54, along with a few medals from other milestone races. But then the challenge was, how do I pick?

My first marathon? sure. My best Chicago Time? My International Marathons? Too many to choose from.

And then one of the daily deal emails I got had a coupon code for a discount at a place that makes custom metal things, especially medal holders. It would have cost $80 for the two but with the discount code it dropped to $53, so I pulled the trigger and ordered them.

So I decided to make another shrine to running. And I'm certain my runner nickname will give my brother-in-law Jethro something else (that concerns him not the least) to be upset about (he cannot stand that my vanity license plate has Chicago in it).

These cost a bit more

It took a few weeks for my medal holder to arrive and when they did, I didn't exactly have the energy I had when I started this project in my head. But I started slow. First I added the Personal Best and then built everything around it. Not every certificate is going up, just the more meaningful ones. This is mostly because I didn't always invest in good frames and don't want to now. And also because I only have so much wall space to work with. I'm not sure how many medals I will put up.

Also rearranged the office a bit

I've also saved almost every racing big and a variety of Teflon blankets that they hand out post-race. I always thought I could do something cool with those. For now, they will go back in the smaller box and be stored somewhere out of sight. And when I shed this mortal coil, I want my family to dispose of this stuff as they see fit. No need to keep it around and create any unwanted clutter.

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