Over at the defunct ChicagoNow, I did a post about Life Lessons. It was a gallery so when I exported that blog to my personal (unused) WordPress site, they didn't come over. I had to use Wayback Machine to get them. I figured putting the more pertinent ones here might be beneficial.
Practical Life Lesson: Genuine Offer versus Conversational Device
It’s really hard to distinguish 'Conversational Device’ from ‘Genuine Offer’ until you’ve been around the block a few times because Conversational Devices are often gift-wrapped as Genuine Offers.
Simply put, this is someone offering to do something for you with no intention of actually doing anything for you. Usually, it's an unintentional thing. At the time they sincerely believe they will deliver on their promise. But the reality is they just won't be there when you think they will. Other times it is totally intentional and premeditated. It is how this person gets their ya-yas which is Swedish for get's off.
Have you ever run into a friend who says something along the line of "We have to get together sometime." Maybe you take the bait and say sure and you reach out to them. In a healthy relationship on Planet Normal, you get together reasonably soon after that chance encounter. Other times you volley back and forth on dates that could work. You find that the person is either busy or non-committal on any date thrown out. Sometimes it takes a while to realize that the other party just doesn't want to get together.
You want to believe the best in people and it takes a few burns until the naive goes away. What's worse is that for some strange reason, our society seems to look down on the person who fell for it, not the person who dished it out.
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