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"You of little faith," he said, "why did
you doubt?"
Current mood: pensive
"God is our
refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble"
Bible, Psalms
46:1
With this being said, I would like to challenge God and his mysterious ways
as to why innocent human beings have to endure trial and suffering. Should it
be considered fair to have a human being nearly two decades of age lie in a
hospital bed and ponder whether or not he will see the next sunrise? Better
yet, is it necessary to put his body into such a trance that he is a mere
vegetable; a coma like state is something that no person should ever wish
upon another. So why, God? Why would you do this to an innocent child - a
child that you claim to be yours. You made man from the dust of this unjust
earth.
"So God
created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him"
Genesis 1:33
Was it because he committed acts of sins? Honestly, what person has lived a
just life? No one. I cannot name one person who has not made a mistake; a
person who has not committed an act of revenge upon thy neighbor; a person
who has not lied to another.
Questions like this constantly go through my mind. I consider myself a child
of God, but I also feel like a hypocrite when I question his acts. After all,
if it weren't for his creation of Adam and Eve (according to the First Book
of Moses, Genesis for those who do not know), I would not be a mortal.
"You of
little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
Bible, Matthew
14:31
I wish I knew why I had such doubt. Perhaps it is because I am afraid to die.
Maybe I just don't want to be one of the select few chosen by God to undergo
trial and suffering. After all, who would? With this said, I guess it can be
concluded that not only am I afraid to die, but I am also afraid to live.
My life is in God's hands. It always has been. The life of every mortal on
this earth is in God's hands. My life has a predetermined destiny, I suppose.
Is it safe to say that it is predetermined for a person to experience pain
and misery? Will it make him stronger? What if he succombs to the pain? Does
it mean he is a mere weak mortal? Or does it mean that God wanted him back in
his arms - he wanted him to turn back into dust?
The cyclical life of a mortal can have multiple meanings. Birth and Death.
Birth and Rebirth. Whatever it may be, we're on this earth for a reason,
predetermined or not. Make the best of it. Look God straight in the eyes and
say, "I will live my life to the fullest. You gave me this blessing to
live and I will take full advantage of it." I know I will do this and
maybe, just maybe, I will get over one of my fears of living and dying.
* This journal is dedicated to UConn Rugby player Marc Corderre. His life is
in God's hands. Lets pray that he gets through his trial and suffering by not
only living, but becoming stronger both spiritually and physically
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This is good. If it helps, someone once told me - "Go ahead and be angry with God. He can take it." For me, having permission to be angry with God from time to time was a necessary step for working through some things. If I hadn't allowed myself to just be angry for a bit, I don't know that I would have gotten to the other side of the emotional gulf.
ReplyDeleteI think I heard Father Cusack at Old St Pat's say it's okay to be angry with God because at least He knows why you are mad. Better to take it out on Him than some poor random sap on the street.
ReplyDelete